Forgive: Easier Said than Done

The Gospel reading appointed for last Sunday was Luke 6: 27-38.  This is in part, the beatitudes i.e. a list of things that Jesus tells us we need to be and do if we are to be blessed and follow him.  These include many things which are a challenge to us such as loving your enemies which I wrote about last week.  In addition to this, the beatitudes include the command that we should forgive, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” 

The sermon, which was preached by the rector of our parish, Rev. Karen Nelles, addressed the challenges of true forgiveness.  She noted that the things which are done to us and which we need to forgive sometimes leave deep scars on our hearts.   To truly forgive such hurts may take many years.  I believe that one of the mistakes of the church is that it has made forgiveness sound too easy.  In effect all you have to do is decide that you forgive and say that you forgive and forgiveness has happened.  In my experience and, I believe in reality, true forgiveness does take time and effort.

For forgiveness to occur in the heart, which is where the hurt you have experienced resides, it takes more than just saying the words and even thinking that you forgive.  Often, we will say we forgive someone because we believe it is what is expected of us as Christians or just as a good person.  However, the hurt remains as healing has not occurred.  One way to determine if true forgiveness has occurred is whether or not the memories of the events or actions that lead to the hurt arise spontaneously at times when you are not expecting.  Something may trigger them in your waking hours or, more often, they will appear in the middle of the night when you are truly at you are least guarded by your self-image of a being a good person who, of course, will forgive those who have wronged you.

This does take work, inner work to actually accept others as well as yourself as imperfect.  The Gospel reading which we are using for this coming Sunday, Luke 6:39-49, is helpful in how to get to a place of true forgiveness.  The passage speaks of seeing the speck in your neighbour’s eye and not the log in your own:

Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye”, when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.

I am not suggesting that the hurt that needs to be forgiven is a mere speck.  However, not many of us have hearts that are so pure that we do have the possibility of doing unto other what has been done to us and caused us pain.  It is comforting to think that I would never to the terrible thing that was done to me.  However, it the dark places of our hearts we will likely find that log that we would love to beat over the head of some someone else if the circumstances are right.  This recognition can go a long way in the journey to true forgiveness which Jesus commands us to take. 

Blessings on that journey.

A New Plan and A New Commandment

Last week I wrote about how God’s plan seemed to be much more specific and detailed in the Old Testament than the New Testament.  The instructions from God given to Moses on how to build the tabernacle were detailed down to the last jot and title.  Indeed, all the instructions in and around the law and how God was to be worshiped were extremely detailed.  However, the plan that we were given in the New Testament was, in comparison, a big picture approach which was built around the Great Commandment i.e. it all comes down to love.  That is all well and good, but how in God’s name are we supposed to manage that?  I find that to be a challenge; there are many people including me who find it a challenge to love as we are commanded despite our best efforts.

I received a comment on what I had written and I am always grateful for feedback.  I will quote the comment as I found it to be thoughtful and thought provoking, “I disagree that God is not a detail-oriented today. I think God is. God sent many prophets, gave us the law and the commandments, and then sent Jesus Christ, who established a church, filled with many saints and holy people. How much more detail do we want?”

I must agree, however, it seems that God does is working more indirectly in the New Testament and today, if I understand what the commenter is saying. Indeed, God does seem to be giving us a plan in different ways today than in the Old Testament.  That, of course, is what the new covenant in Jesus Christ is proclaiming and fulfilling.  Rather than a law which is incredibly detailed as in the Mosaic code, we have a law which can be summarized in the Great Commandment to love.  That does give us freedom.  We don’t have to worry about putting a step which is not in exact correct place.  However, with the freedom comes responsibility.  It is a responsibility which leaves a great deal up to us try and figure out what it means to love our neighbour and how we go about doing that.  Needless to say, this is not easy.  We need to discern on an ongoing basis if what we are doing is fulfilling that commandment and if not, how can we repent i.e. to turn around and get back on the correct path. 

I agree with the comment that God has also given us holy people to guide us in finding the path God intends for us.  Indeed, I recently attended a retreat which offered such help.  The retreat was offered by the Sisterhood of St. John the Divine in Toronto.  It was entitled Praying With Evelyn Underhill.  Evelyn Underhill was one of those holy people who God sent us to give a guidance.  She was an Anglican mystic and spiritual guide who lived and practiced in England in the first part of the 20^th Century.

The retreat was different than many I had attended as it focussed on the practice of prayer rather than on transmitting information.  We were invited to do just what the retreat title said, to pray rather than to absorb a lot of information about Underhill and her life and teaching.  There was some of that but primarily we were to practice rather than being in what is more comfortable for me, a place where I can be in my head.  The approach which we were invited to participate in has three ways of praying which were taught by Underhill; Adoration, Communion, and Self-offering.  After a short introduction to each way we were given time to engage in that way.  Here is a brief summary of the three ways in Underhill’s words.

Adoration: “takes us out of ourselves, out of limited capacities and our own needs and emotions, sweeping us past all this to God as objective fact, as mysterious gift to us―sweeping us to a place where things of God enter the MIND.”

Communion: “The mystic is in love with God not in any idle or sentimental manner, but in the vital sense which presses at all costs through all dangers towards union with the beloved.”

Self-offering: “More is required of those who wake up to the reality than the passive adoration of God or intimate communion with God.  Those responses, great as they are, do not cover the purposes of our creation…The Church is in the world to save the world.  It is a tool of God for that purpose , not a comfortable religious club set in fine historical premises.”

On refection, the commandment of Jesus is where the rubber hits the road.  We have to come to that third step of self-offering which is the most difficult for me and probably for most people.  Most of us are not going to be able to jump to the third way without travelling the path through the first two.  However, the blessing that is offered by Evelyn Underhill and other holy and wise people is to give us a road map to follow on that journey.

Blessings on you journey.

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together

Are you old enough to remember that 1970’s TV series, The A Team?  I am embarrassed to say that I remember it and even more embarrassed to admit that I did watch it a few times.  Actually a few times was all that was required because it was as formulaic as any series that has been on TV, which is saying a lot.  In any case, as I recall our intrepid team of heroes was headed by George Peppard who played John “Hannibal” Smith. The cast also included Mr. T who played one of the team members and was more memorable for his appearance than his acting, even in a cast noted for woodenness. 

I have engaged in this trip down memory lane because of one of the memorable lines from the show.  Our intrepid leader Hannibal would say in every show (indeed, it was the catchphrase), “I love it when a plan comes together.” I have been following a suggestion by my Bishop, Bp. Linda Nicholls, that every Anglican join in an exercise to read the bible in a year.  We are assisted in this through an on-line web site, The Bible Challenge https://thebiblechallenge.org/.  Now, I believe that this is an excellent suggestion because Anglicans are not generally known for their biblical knowledge and reading the bible regularly is something that can benefit every Christian.  In any case, being a dutiful priest, I am trying to follow that suggestion and have been doing so faithfully for a while.  There have been a number of passages that I had not been aware of and that have surprised me.  One that I found most interesting was the Old Testament passage for February 7^th, Exodus chapters 26 and 27.  This section of the book of Exodus goes into great detail about God’s command to Moses to built a tabernacle which would serve as a portable dwelling place for God while they were in the wilderness.

The detail that God gives to Moses in these chapters is quite amazing; for example, the passage begins with a description of the curtains which will form the dwelling:

“Moreover, you shall make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twined linen and blue and purple and scarlet yarns; you shall make them with cherubim skillfully worked into them. 2 The length of each curtain shall be twenty-eight cubits, [1] and the breadth of each curtain four cubits; all the curtains shall be the same size. 3 Five curtains shall be coupled to one another, and the other five curtains shall be coupled to one another. 4 And you shall make loops of blue on the edge of the outermost curtain in the first set. Likewise you shall make loops on the edge of the outermost curtain in the second set. 5 Fifty loops you shall make on the one curtain, and fifty loops you shall make on the edge of the curtain that is in the second set; the loops shall be opposite one another. 6 And you shall make fifty clasps of gold, and couple the curtains one to the other with the clasps, so that the tabernacle may be a single whole.

Note that God just doesn’t say make some curtains.  He gives instructions on the number, what they will be made of, their dimensions, how they will be attached and by how many loops, and so on.  This level of detail continues for all aspect of the tabernacle and all the equipment that will be used in it and all the furnishings.  God seems for this to be a very detail oriented divine being.  In this, God would agree with the immortal Hannibal Smith that it is necessary to have a plan if you are going to succeed.  God would also agree with Hannibal that God loves it when a plan comes together.

Now this is great for someone who is detail oriented.  I am not one who is accomplished at making detailed plans; I am more of a big picture person (at least that is my excuse).  However, I heartily agree that detailed plans are helpful and even necessary to being something to successful fruition.  I become rather frustrated when plans are not well thought out and are not very clear, as I am reminded whenever I try to follow an operating manual for computer software or the instructions for assembling something I have just bought.  As I have said in those times, the three most frightening words in the English language are, ‘some assembly required’. 

The point here is that God seems to be saying int his passage that here are the instructions for doing what I am commanding you to do, Moses.  And they seem to have been good instructions because, according to the account in Exodus, the tabernacle was built to the satisfaction of God; and God was not easy to satisfy in those days.  I wonder if God is any easier to satisfy today?  Perhaps we need a new set of instructions regarding how to fulfill God’s commandment.  God doesn’t seem to be as detailed oriented today as God was back in Moses’ time. 

We have been given the commandment, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  However, we seem to be lacking a set of operating instructions how we are to do this seemingly impossible task. 

Well, perhaps God has more faith in us than we have in ourselves.  However, it hasn’t seemed to have worked out very well so far but we are called to keep trying.  Indeed, a quote by Samuel Beckett I heard this past weekend seems to apply, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better”.

God knows that we are going to fail in so many ways in our attempts to follow this commandment but we are promised forgiveness when that happens.  So, I would say keep on keeping on and love you neighbour even if he or she is not particularly lovable.  Then again, I am not particularly lovable at times either.   Perhaps we will fail better if we have a plan.  Perhaps it will actually come together. 

Blessings on your journey. 

Wash Me Throughly

The title of today’s missive is not a grammatical mistake.  It is actually a quote from the KJV of Psalm 51, “Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.”  The phrase came to mind when I was reflecting on the situation Lorna and I currently have regarding washing dishes. 

Our dishwasher gave up the ghost about a month ago.  My initial reaction was to get on it right away and buy a replacement.  This was somewhat out of character for me as I often don’t act proactively in getting things done.  However, I was ready and apparently willing to do so in this case.  Lorna had second thoughts about the desirability to take this action, precipitous or not.  This was in part because she was never pleased with the effectiveness of our dishwasher which we had purchased when we had the house built almost fifteen years ago.  It was a name brand (Maytag), but it never seemed to do a really good job.  We put it down to the water not being hot enough, which we had checked out, without success, or to the ineffectiveness of dishwasher soap these days for ecological reasons.  The dishes also became permanently cloudy over the years and all-in-all it was all-in-all dish-satisfying (sorry, I couldn’t resist) situation. I also can’t resist making a comment about seeing through a glass darkly. 

We had discussed the possibility of buying a new better dishwasher but hadn’t come to that dish-cision (the last one, I promise).  In any case, we decided (actually Lorna made the decision and I agreed as I wisely often do for the sake of marital bliss), that we would wash dishes the old-fashioned way for a while.  We have always (for five years) done this at the cottage because we do not have a dishwasher there (again, Lorna’s decision).  In any case it has turned out that it was the right decision (as Lorna’s often are) for a number of reasons.

First, it doesn’t take that long to ‘do’ the dishes for the two of us―about fifteen minutes once a day, usually after the evening meal.  Second, the results are much better and they are “throughly” clean.  Third, Lorna has always enjoyed the act of washing dishes (one of her interesting character traits) and I am quite happy to dry them so that works out well.  And last, and probably most important, we have some interesting discussions during this “quality” time together.  All in all, it is a very congenial and positive experience.  

The only downside that I have been able to come up with to date is that the dirty dishes do sit on the kitchen counter during the day.  However, this is not a big draw back for me as I am generally not bothered by a bit of clutter (as Lorna can attest whenever she passes my office). 

In any case, it raises the question about modern conveniences and what we have gained and what we have lost with their development.  It is a question I can consider “throughly” another time.

Blessings on your journey.