Divinely Intended Tension

I am currently reading, Caring Enough to Confront, a book given to me recently by the author, Dr. Denis Shackel who is a friend.  In the book, the author tackles the challenges which are encountered in difficult conversations.  Denis Shackel analyses what makes some conversations challenging, why we should engage in them, and gives the reader strategies for engaging in those conversations.

As someone who, by nature, tries to avoid conflict and has at times not handled them well, I appreciate a book that engages this issue.  Denis explores these types of conversations and the situations that lead to them from an analytical approach which examines why they occur and the psychology involved as well as exploring the benefits of engaging these conversations in a positive manner.  Unfortunately, as the author documents, most are not handled in a successful way; 49% of challenging conversations are avoided, 48% are unsuccessful, and a mere 3% are engaged successfully. 

In considering the issues of challenging conversations, if we look at them from a spiritual perspective, they are, what has been named, Divinely Intended Tension.  This is a term, which I came across many years ago.  It was first, to my knowledge, coined by Friedrich von Hügel, (5 May 1852 – 27 January 1925) who was a Catholic layman, religious writer, and Christian apologist.  He was also a spiritual director with notable directees such as Evelyn Underhill.  When I encountered the phrase, I was immediately engaged with it, as I believe it is a perfect description of God’s intention for us in engaging the challenges that we inevitably encounter in life – particularly in our relations with others. 

In effect, Divinely intended tension" comprises situations where pressures, paradoxes, and opposing truths in life are purposefully used by God to foster spiritual growth, resilience, and dependence on divine grace.

Later, studying the psychology of Carl Jung, I came to see that Jung’s concept of the theory of opposites was a complementary concept which encompassed a way of balancing the opposing forces of the psyche as the path toward integration of the conscious and unconscious aspects of the human psyche. 

Both Divinely Intended Tension and the theory of opposites propose that if we are able to hold these tensions which occur in life, and do not avoid them or negate them, something which God intends for us will come forth in our lives.  In will become to a greater extent, the people God intends us to be.  However, as the statistics from Caring Enough to Confront, noted above shows, people overwhelmingly do not engage willingly with the tension we encounter in life.  I do believe that it is God’s intention for us to engage in those difficult times with others.  To do so is to follow Jesus’ commandment that we love one another – as difficult as that is.   

I will close with a quote which arrived in the inbox today which is apropos to this subject:

Ponder this universal teaching: If we stay present to our discomfort, we will also feel something else arising—something more real, capable, sensitive, and exquisitely aware of ourselves and of our surroundings. (The Wisdom of the Enneagram, 37)

 

Do you Have Eyes to See?

I had cataract surgery last week on both eyes.  The results are beyond my expectations - being able to see clearly at distance without glasses.  I still need reading glasses but that is what I expected.  I have been wearing glasses for distance vision since I was about seven years old, so it is quite amazing that I do not need glasses other than for reading now.  Indeed, I keep reaching for the glasses that are not on my face – something like phantom pain for an amputated limb – except there is no pain involved.

I have naturally had my vision on my mind during this time and brought into focus (so to speak) what we can see and what we are not able to see.  I have been aware that many things can be there in our lives which we are not aware of or may have missed seeing for many years – not because our eyes are dim but because we unconsciously or unknowingly have filters that don’t allow that image to register on our consciousness.

The best example of this happened some years ago when I was visiting a small town in Saskatchewan – Fort Qu’Appelle - where I had lived when I was a teenager.  Lorna and I had taken a trip out west and stopped off in Saskatchewan and visited some of my old haunts.  We drove to the United Church in town where my family worshipped.  I was raised in the United church – my father was a United Church minister, and we had moved to Ft. Qu’Appelle where he was the principal of the Prairie Christian Training Centre run by the United church.  In any case, Lorna and I found the United Church – which was right where I remembered it and got out and looked around.  It was pretty much as I remembered it.  However, I was amazed to see that right across the street was an Anglican Church which I had no memory of being there. 

My first reaction was that perhaps it was built after we lived in town.  However, it is a lovely fieldstone building which was built in 1885.  So, it must have been there when I was frequenting the United Church which – I must say - is not nearly as lovely as the St. John’s Anglican Church in Ft. Qu’Appelle.  You have to wonder about all the things that don’t register in your consciousness that are all around you.  Now Lorna would put this down to my less than observant nature, which I must agree with, but I know that this is more than just being less than observant.  Perhaps there was a larger lesson for me that waited fifty years to register with me. 

Jesus was very aware of the importance of sight - both the physical ability to see and the symbolic or psychological importance of sight.  He healed many people of their physical blindness e.g. Blind Bartimaeus.  He also spent a great deal of precious time and energy trying to enable people to see the truth of who they were as children of God.  This is well summarized in the passage from Matthew 13:15   

For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

The disciples were great examples of people who should have been able to see i.e. understand what Jesus was showing them and telling them.  However, they often did not get it.  That gives me some comfort in my willfulness or blindness in not being the person God created me to be.  I know that there are many aspects of life – many of the realities of life that I am blind to – willfully or otherwise. This week, I invite you to see if you have eyes to see and ears to hear where God is calling you to go on your journey in your life. 

I give thanks for the wonderful medical staff at the Ivey Eye Institute in London Ontario who are literally giving eyes to see to so many people.  

 

Who Actually Were Jack and Jill?

This might be titled, everything I need to know about history I learned in kindergarten.  Last time I wrote about the significance of numbers in carols and songs.  This time I am following up with the significance behind nursery rhymes that some people (of a certain age) learned when they/we were young.  I don’t know if the newer generations, i.e. millennials, x, y - and whatever comes after that are still appreciative audiences for such things today.

So, with that let’s explore what lies behind some of the nursery rhymes that I remember.  One that is well known and people may know the backstory is Ring Around the Rosie.  One site on the web gives a good, succinct explanation of this happy little verse.   

the most popular contention is that the sing-songy verse refers to the 1665 Great Plague of London. “The rosie” is the rash that covered the afflicted, the smell from which they attempted to cover up with “a pocket full of posies.” The plague killed nearly 15 percent of the country’s population, which makes the final verse—“Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down”—rather self-explanatory.

The version I knew had hush-a, hush-a, rather than Ashes, Ashes, but that goes to show how this genre adapted and developed over many years.  Hush-a is much gentler than ashes, as it could be a lullaby encouraging children to go to sleep.

With that exploration of the great plague, let’s turn to Jack and Jill noted in the title of this exposition.  One possibility is that Jack and Jill are the rhyming representation of King Louis XVI and his wife, Marie Antoinette of France.   Louis (Jack) certainly lost his crown by guillotine and Marie (Jill) came tumbling after.  Another possibility is that it is a reference to 17th-century king of England, Charles I. He attempted to increase taxes on alcohol, which were generally measured in units known as jacks and gills.  This did not turn out well for him as he shared the fate of Louis and Marie and lost his head. 

Let’s look at another favourite Baa, Baa Black Sheep.  You might have jumped to the conclusion that there was a racial connotation to this little ditty.  However, likely it refers to the Great Custom, a tax on wool that was introduced in 1275 in England. 

Okay, how about London Bridge is Falling Down.  That looks to be a flight of imagination about the famous bridge – or any bridge – falling down due to perhaps old age and disrepair.  Well, that’s not far from the truth.  It quite likely refers to the destruction of London Bridge at the hands of Olaf II of Norway in the early 1000s.  However, there is a question as to whether this actually took place so it could be anti-Norwegian propaganda or indoctrination of the young.

Let’s look at one more example in our exploration of history through nursery rhymes.  How many know the rhyme, Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary (how does your garden grow).  How many of us have known a ‘Mary’ or perhaps anyone who was hard to get along with and perhaps took excessive pride in their gardening skills?  However, the rhyme does refer to another member of English royalty – Mary Queen of England – or Bloody Mary as she was (un)affectionately nicknamed.  Mary – a fervent Roman Catholic earned that nickname by her execution of Protestants in counter reformation fervor.  As one source noted “silver bells and cockle shells, in this understanding, are actually torture devices, not garden accouterments.” Contrary indeed. 

I hope you have enjoyed this little side trip into history via the vehicle of the lowly nursery rhyme.  If you are interested in exploring this in greater detail, there is lots of information available from our friend Google – but perhaps that friend is not always all it seems either.  Perhaps someone could write a modern nursery rhyme about Google or AI or any variation of social media – lots of juicy material there.  I hope I haven’t spoiled your favourite nursery rhyme but rather enriched it.  

What is the Meaning in the Numbers

The last time I explored the meaning of the numbers in the song, The Twelve Days of Christmas.  Each of the twelve days represents something e.g. the Four Calling Birds of day four represent the four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). This time I want to explore further two of those twelve numbers – specifically day 7 and day 9.    

The Seven Swans a-Swimming of day 7 refers to the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit.  The Nine Ladies Dancing on the ninth day of Christmas represents the nine Fruits of the Spirit.  That said, it is reasonable to ask, what are the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit; and what are the nine fruits of the spirit?

Fortunately, we can find out the answers to these questions with the help of our friend Google.  The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are an enumeration of seven spiritual gifts first found in the book of Isaiah. They are: wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord.

The nine fruits of the Spirit, listed in Galatians 5:22-23 of the Bible, are: love, joy, peace, patience (or forbearance), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  These are divine qualities that grow in a believer's life through the work of the Holy Spirit, reflecting God's character.

Of course, this calls for further exploration of each of these qualities e.g. wisdom or love.  However, those are subjects for other days.  I want to close with the significance of numbers in another old song which is reminiscent of the Twelve Days of Christmas – Green Grow the Rushes O.  This is one I used to sing in my childhood, and which is, I believe, an old English folk song.  It is in a familiar call and response setting:

I will sing you one o, green grow the rushes O. 

What is your one O. 

One is one and all alone and ever more shall be so. 

As in the twelve Days of Christmas, each number has a meaning.  The exact meanings and lyrics can vary depending on tradition.

One: Is one and all alone, generally referring to the single, all-alone God.

Two: The lily-white boys, clothed all in green, often interpreted as Jesus and John the Baptist, or sometimes the Old and New Testaments.

Three: The rivals (sometimes "thrivers" or "strangers"), usually interpreted as the Three Magi (Wise Men), or possibly the Holy Trinity.

Four: For the Gospel makers (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), the four Evangelists.

Five: The symbols at your door, often linked to the five wounds of Christ or the five points of a protective pentagram.

Six: For the six proud walkers (or "six water-pot bearers"), referencing the six water pots at the Wedding at Cana where Jesus turned water into wine.

Seven: For the seven stars in the sky, typically the seven classical planets or the Pleiades star cluster.

Eight: For the April rainers (or "eight archangels"), possibly referring to the eight people saved on Noah's Ark or the eight Beatitudes.

Nine: For the nine bright shiners, often seen as the nine orders of angels or the nine joys of Mary.

Ten: For the Ten Commandments.

Eleven: For the eleven who went to heaven, referring to the twelve Apostles minus Judas Iscariot.

Twelve: For the twelve Apostles.

There is often meaning underneath the surface in numbers as there is in many things.  Take some time to explore the hidden things.  Blessings

 

Christmas Didn’t End on December 25th

Merry Christmas to all.  No, I am not a day – or twelve days late - and a dollar short.  Today is the twelfth day of Christmas or twelfth night.  We are in the Christmas season in the church year.  So, once more with feeling Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day.Twelve Days of Christmas, 

People today probably know about the twelve days of Christmas – if at all – through the song in which the singer’s true love gives her or him a gift for every day.  It is one of those building songs which adds on to the items from the previous verse i.e. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.   On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree – and so on. 

I read somewhere a calculation of how many gifts the true love gave in total.  I checked it out on Google and the generosity of the ‘true love’ is very impressive:

12 Partridges, 22 Turtle Doves, 30 French Hens, 36 Calling Birds, 40 Gold Rings, 42 Geese-a-Laying, 42 Swans-a-Swimming, 40 Maids-a-Milking, 36 Ladies Dancing, 30 Lords-a-Leaping, 22 Pipers Piping, and 12 Drummers Drumming, totaling 364 gifts across all days.

I hope you find that informative and interesting.  But wait, there’s more.  In addition, each of the gifts have a religious meaning or significance.  This varies according to traditions, but her is on I found on-line: 

Partridge in a Pear Tree: Jesus (Partridge) and the Cross (Pear Tree).

Two Turtle Doves: The Old and New Testaments.

Three French Hens: The theological virtues of Faith, Hope, and Love.

Four Calling Birds: The Four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John).

Five Gold Rings: The first five books of the Bible (Pentateuch).

Six Geese a-Laying: The six days of Creation (God rested on the seventh) .

Seven Swans a-Swimming: The Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Eight Maids a-Milking: The Eight Beatitudes.

Nine Ladies Dancing: The nine Fruits of the Spirit (Love, Joy, Peace, etc.).

Ten Lords a-Leaping: The Ten Commandments.

Eleven Pipers Piping: The eleven faithful Apostles (after Judas's betrayal).

Twelve Drummers Drumming: The twelve points of the Apostles' Creed.

With that, I will wish you all a Merry Christmas; Happy Twelfth Night; and yes, blessed new year.

The Awfulness of Christmas

Have you ever described your experience of something negative as awful i.e. isn’t that awful?  I’m sure you probably have or at the least heard someone else do it.  That is a perfectly appropriate use of the word ‘awful’.  One on-line source defines it as:

1.       very bad or unpleasant. "the place smelled awful"

2.       used to emphasize the extent of something, especially something unpleasant or negative. "I've made an awful fool of myself"

Now if I was to describe my experience of Christmas as awful, it might be correct if that season of peace on earth and goodwill to all did not live up to my expectations that Christmas would be just that – peaceful and full of good will.  That can happen to people especially when the culture places such high expectations on Christmas being the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, as the Christmas song goes.

However, there is a more traditional meaning to ‘awful’ which fits very well with the season of Christmas.  Google provided an appropriate summary of this:

The traditional, archaic definition of awful was "arousing or inspiring awe" or "worthy of profound respect or fear". It described something that was solemnly impressive, majestic, or terrifying in a way that commanded reverence, such as "the awful majesty of alpine peaks".

In effect awe means just what it says i.e. that we are full of awe.  As is often the case, Richard Rohr is helpful by providing some clarity on having a sense of awe:

We have is a sense of awe and radical amazement in the face of a mystery that staggers our ability to sense it.  Awe is more than an emotion; it is a way of understanding, insight into a meaning greater than ourselves. The beginning of awe is wonder, and the beginning of wisdom is awe.

Awe is an intuition for the dignity of all things, a realization that things not only are what they are but also stand, however remotely, for something supreme. Awe is a sense for the … mystery beyond all things. It enables us … to sense in small things the beginning of infinite significance, to sense the ultimate in the common and the simple; to feel in the rush of the passing the stillness of the eternal. What we cannot comprehend by analysis, we become aware of in awe. 

I try not to object too strongly each year to the growing secularization of Christmas as the emphasis becomes less and less on the Christ Child and more on the Bacchanalia of excessive materialization and making the season just right from going into debt to outdo last year’s extravagance.  I believe the key difference between the secular Christmas and the real Christmas is that the secular Christmas lacks a sense of awe.  Again, Richard Rohr is helpful on what happens when the sense of awe is missing:

Forfeit your sense of awe, let your conceit diminish your ability to revere, and the universe becomes a market place for you. The loss of awe is the avoidance of insight. A return to reverence is the first prerequisite for a revival of wisdom, for the discovery of the world as an allusion to God. 

In this season of Christmas – yes, it is still Christmas until at least Epiphany when we celebrate the visit of the Wise Men aka the Three Kings – may you experience the awfulness of Christmas. 

Reflections on the Dark Night of the Soul

 As Advent draws to a close and Christmas is upon us, I thought it would be helpful during these hectic days to reflect on the darkness of Advent in our time of preparation.  Darkness can reveal much that is obscured in the light.

The Incarnation always brings good news, but it never minimizes the realness of our pain. Advent declares the hope that a light is coming, but first it declares the truth that the world right now is so very dark. —Stephanie Duncan Smith

Song of the Soul  By John of the Cross, trans. By Mirabai Starr

On a dark night, inflamed by love-longing. O exquisite risk.  Undetected, I slipped away. My house, at last, grown still.

Secure in the darkness, I climb the secret ladder in disguise.  O exquisite risk. Concealed by the darkness, my house, at last, grown still.

That sweet night, a secret, nobody saw me. I did not see a thing.  No other light, no other guide than the one burning in my heart.

This light leads the way more clearly than the risen son to where he was waiting for me. The one I knew so intimately, in a place where no one could find us.

O night that guided me. O night, sweeter than sunrise.  O night that joins lover with beloved. Lover transformed in beloved.

Upon my blossoming breast, which I cultivated just for him, he drifted into sleep.  And while I caressed him, a cedar breeze touched the air.

Wind blew down from the tower, parting the locks of his hair.  With his gentle hand he wounded my neck, and all my senses were suspended.

I lost myself, forgot myself. I lay my face against the beloved’s face.  Everything fell away. And I left myself behind, abandoning my cares among the lilies, forgotten. 

Have a blessed and Merry Christmas