Making the Crooked Paths Straight

 O God of Compassion,

I cannot undo the past, or make it never have happened!
— neither can You. There are some things that are not possible even for You
— but not many!

I ask you, humbly, and from the bottom of my heart;
Please, God, would You write straight with my crooked lines?
Out of the serious mistakes of my life will You make something beautiful for you?

Teach me to live at peace with You, and make peace with others and even with myself.

Give me fresh vision. Let me experience your love so deeply that I am free to
face the future with a steady eye, forgiven, and strong in hope.

I came across this prayer a few weeks ago – unfortunately I didn’t note the source.[1]   It resonated with me because it addressed the experience I have which I call the “ghosts” that sometimes haunt me in the witching hours of the night.  The ghosts are memories which arrive unsought and unasked for.  In religious language they are the things I have done which I ought not to have done and the things I have not done, I ought to have done.  I could go on with there being no health in me but I won’t go that far – at least this morning.   At base they are regrets which I wish I could change but as this prayer states, I cannot undo the past, or make it never have happened!  

Even God can’t or perhaps it might be better to say won’t – I truly don’t know which.  But I do know what is possible is forgiveness.  It is possible through God in Jesus Christ to forgive – forgive myself and others for all those things in life that I regret happened.  Those ghosts are actually given by God to let me know that forgiveness for these things is not complete.  The crooked path has not yet been made straight.  Forgiveness – true forgiveness does not come easily to me and I expect it does not come easily in most cases.    However, it is a gift from God that those ghosts come to let me know that the process of forgiveness is not yet complete.  I had not originally planned to write about those ghosts on All Saints Day after a traditional night in which the ghosts and goblins roamed so freely but perhaps, I can see God’s hand in that.

May you be blessed to have reconcile with your ghosts on your journey. 

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[1] One of my biggest and closest fans informed me that it is a prayer by Ignatius of Loyola 

 

Be Careful For Nothing and Give Thanks In All Things

Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving so it is a day to give thanks (sorry if that is stating the obvious).  However, giving thanks is important as it is possible to let your troubles and things that you are naturally not thankful for dominate your thoughts and feelings.

I have noted in the past that Philippians 4: 4-9 is a good scripture passage at these times of thanksgiving.  It begins, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again, I will say, Rejoice.”  Whenever I hear that passage, I cannot help but hear the beautiful aria from Handle’s Messiah play in my head.  I do restrain myself from breaking into an attempt to sing it out loud, at least in public.

One of the beautiful aspects of the Messiah is that the text is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.  In the NRSV the next verse is ‘Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God’.  The words that come to me however, are from the KJV, ‘Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God’.  It does, after all, seem easier to remember song lyrics than prose passages.

For me, ‘Be careful for nothing: resonate much differently than “Do not worry about anything.”  Putting aside the beauty and poetry of the phrase '' Be careful for nothing”, the phrase has a deeper and more profound resonance and meaning.  It is interesting that Word prompted ‘be careful for’ and suggested I might use ‘careful   about’, or ‘carful with’, or ‘careful of’.  None of those are appropriate which is not surprizing but then either is ‘do not worry about anything’. 

‘Be careful for nothing’ does not mean that I should not take care or be careless―even though I’m sure Lorna would agree, if asked, that I can be careless about some things at times.  I understand it to mean that I should not let anything interfere with my giving thanks to God in all things.  I do not say that I give thanks to God for all things.  I am not able to go that far but, rather, I try and give thanks to God in all things.  The trial and tribulation and slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that life presents to me are not necessarily sent by God in my theology.  They can be a challenge and sometimes overwhelming, but I give thanks that God is with me on my journey in the good times and the not so good times and even when times are downright bad. 

Therefore, on this (Canadian) Thanksgiving Monday, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” 

May you be blessed this day and every day on your journey.

Truth and Reconciliation

 Last week, Canada celebrated the first National Day of Truth and Reconciliation. The day honours the lost children and Survivors of residential schools, their families and communities.  I have been deeply moved by the news of the discovery of the buried remains of 215 bodies at the former Kamloops Residential School.  Since then, there have been similar tragic discoveries at other sites. 

In my search for how to respond to this situation I turned to a quote by Victor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” 

The question facing me and all Canadians is, in the space between the stimulus i.e., the revelation of this horrific example of the effect of the terrible chapter in Canadian history, and our responses, is how do we choose to respond to that information?  As a middle class, now more than middle-aged, white Canadian man, I am aware that I cannot presume to provide a response that is appropriate for the survivors, the families of the 215 children, or any member of the First Nations in Canada.  However, in my desire to respond, I am writing this reflection and offer of assistance and support. 

I was inspired by the news item of people placing shoes in memory of some of the victims whose remains were discovered.  This brought to mind my visit to the World Holocaust Remembrance Centre in Jerusalem in 2007.  I was deeply affected by many of the exhibits which commemorated the impact on the Jewish people and the individuals who suffered and died in the Holocaust.  I was particularly moved by the exhibit of a multitude of shoes belonging to prisoners who perished in Bergen-Belsen and other camps.

That the Holocaust was a manifestation of evil is not in doubt.  I have not been aware that the Residential School system put in place by our representative has been named as a manifestation of evil.  Perhaps this has been done – I deeply hope that it has and will be recognized as just that.  It was evil and the effects of that evil are still being felt to this day in the lives of the survivors and the descendants of those who suffered that evil. 

The power of the Remembrance Centre brough home to me the need to remember in a permanent way those who suffered and sometimes died through the actions and neglect of officials in the Residential School system both as individuals and as a system.  A Residential Schools Remembrance Centre would give a permanent and concrete testimony to this terrible chapter in the history of the Canadian Nation and be a focus for collective memory and help ensure that the residents shall be remembered in our national psyche.

I do not have any concrete suggestions at this time regarding how this can be moved forward.  I do know that truth must precede reconciliation and the discovery of the unmarked graves of so many children who were captives in these institutions is a first step.   The reconciliation can and must take many forms following the truth of this tragedy. 

Let us acknowledge that truth on our journey and may those who are on this journey be blessed.

 

Talk of Love Not Hate

 

I saw Jesus on the cross on a hill called Calvary
"Do you hate mankind for what they done to you?"
He said, "Talk of love not hate, things to do - it's getting late.
I've so little time and I'm only passing through."
Passing through, passing through.
Sometimes happy, sometimes blue,
glad that I ran into you.
Tell the people that you saw me passing through.

These lyrics by Leonard Cohen came to mind as I was reading an article in our Diocesan newspaper, The Huron Church News.  The article, A brighter Spiritual awareness, by Rev. Jim Innis, noted a signboard he had seen in London which read, “May Love Always Be Stronger Than Hate.”   This is a value and understanding that is deeply needed in these times, and possibly every time since people began to walk on this earth.

However, as St, Leonard (the saint of song as I fondly think of him) states in his song Passing Through, it seems to be getting late and the need to speak of love seems all the more urgent that we not only speak of love but live out love as we pass though this time we have on earth. 

When I think about loving versus hating it can seem that hating seems to be easier to do than loving.  Can it be that it is more natural to hate others than to love them?  It is natural to find scapegoats for the things that are wrong in this world.  Rene Girard developed a scapegoat theory of how this mechanism has been at work in the world for time immemorial.  We unconsciously can collectively find an innocent victim or victims to carry the guilt for the sins of the world.  Individually, we can find ourselves consumer with hatred for someone who’s only crime is to be different than us – different in behaviour or appearance or even their attitudes and beliefs.  We can think of the strong negative emotions - okay let’s just call it hate – for people who may refuse to be vaccinated against COVID or against officials who are setting rules that appear to force people to be vaccinated against their will. 

 

It seems much easier to hate these people than love them, but is that actually the case?  Theologians and philosophers have proclaimed that love is the foundation on which the universe rests and is bound together.  Jesus Christ based his understanding of the Kingdom of God on love being the ruling principle.  He proclaimed that the commandment could be summed up in love, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

You might suppose that this was a commandment because it was not something which came naturally to people.  Therefore, we had to be commanded to do and be loving despite ourselves.  However, that is not the case.  When we consider all that love has inspired in the world – great art and poetry, love sonnets and romantic novels, and the accounts of the love between people, we know that love is a great force in this world.  IS love stronger than hate as the hope expressed in the billboard?  I have to believe it is despite some of the signs to the contrary.  Love can choose us and we can be swept off our feet and lose ourselves in the depths of love but we can also choose love.  This choice was addressed by -Br. David Vryhof of the Society of Saint John the Evangelist, “Why would we choose to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us? Because that is the way of God. God never stops loving, never stops blessing. Only God’s love abiding in us can love in this way, only God’s strength at work in our weakness can make us God-like in our words and actions.”

So, let’s talk of love not hate as the song proposes and let us all choose love and not hate.  After all there are things to do and it is getting late on our journey. 

Blessings. 

Whom Are You Going to Serve?

 

You may be an ambassador to England or France
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes
Indeed you're gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody

Those lyrics by Bob Dylan capture what is on my mind this morning.  I have been listening to a program on CBC Ideas about the Divine Comedy of Dante.  This is a magnificent poem – probably the greatest ever written, is in three parts; Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso.   I have also read the Comedy some time ago and have started the Paradiso again recently.  The theme which I have focussed on in this encounter with the poem is, as the lyrics sum up, deciding who or what you will serve. 

The Comedy is an account of Dante, the author and the protagonist of the poem, journeying through the three aspects of existence – hell, purgatory and heaven.  He does this, fortunately for his and for the multitude who have read the Comedy since, while he is alive.  It is a journey of discovery for Dante the protagonist, and possibly Dante the author, of whom he will serve. 

In the beginning Dante, in my reading, is serving himself.  He begins by using the work as a great revenge play in which he places those who are responsible for the great tragedy of his life – his exile from his beloved city of Florence.  For Dante this was a form of death – he was exiled from the ground of his being, from all forms of support, from friends and family, from finances, and perhaps even from God.  Consequently, he places those he holds responsible in hell most notably Pope Boniface VIII.  Although Pope Boniface was not dead when Dante wrote the poem, he places Boniface in the eighth circle of hell devoted to the simoniacs – those who use the church for personal financial gain. He doesn’t stop there but uses the work as an opportunity to wreak literary vengeance on a wide assortment of villains and even including a good friend in his zeal. 

This starting point on his spiritual journey was from a position where he was wanting to be in charge.  Dante’s ego believed it should be in charge and his creative genius should serve his ego.   In effect, he believes that God should serve him.  At the end of his journey of spiritual discovery, he learns that the proper place for the ego is in service to God.  This is the journey that we are all called to make. This was addressed in one of the recent offerings from the Society of Saint John the Evangelist  (SSJE). 

Conversion is about having more and more space in our mind and heart for the “other” people of this world, people whom God so loves. Jesus changed. If we are following him, we are going to need to change – it’s a life-long conversion – to not only serve Jesus but to see Jesus in the “other,” whoever is “other” to us, different from us, not “normal” to us. This is very challenging news. The good news is it’s possible, amazingly possible.  Br. Curtis Almquist.

Blessings on your journey.  

Where Were You On That Day?

There are events in our lives that leave an indelible mark on us personally and the world.  For those of us who are of a certain age we know where we were when these events happen; the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the moon landing, the end of the United States War in Viet Nam.  In older generations, it would have been events around World War 2; Dunkirk, the dropping of the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima.  Going further back in time there was November 11^th when the war to end all wars ended. 

Saturday was the twentieth anniversary of such an event when the Twin Towers were destroyed by two small aircraft and changed the modern world in ways that are still making an impact today.  I am sure most people remember where they were when they hear or even viewed the events.  The day is universally known by the numbers 9-11.  In my case I was attending my first day of theology classes at Huron University College in London, Ontario.  It was not my first class at Huron, but my first day as a full-fledged M.Div. student in the ordination stream having made the commitment to seek ordination as an Anglican priest.

It was a memorable start to that journey.  I had attended my first class and went to the Student Activity Centre of the University of Western Ontario, as it was then known, to purchase some text books.  As I entered the common area, all eyes were glued to the TV monitors that hung from the ceiling in various locations.  I looked up to see news people commenting of the first plane having hit one of the Towers of the World Trade Center and -peculating about the possible accident.  I don’t recall there being speculation about a deliberate act of flying the plane into the building, but there may have been.  As I was watching the monitor, everyone could see the second plan crashing into the second Tower which brought front and center that this was undoubtedly a deliberate act which would have far reaching consequences.  They would be more far reaching than almost anyone watching that day could have envisioned – certainly far more than I could imagine that day.  There were more planes – four in total -that were hijacked by terrorists but their impact was far greater than even the direct havoc they wrought.

Later that day, a memorial service for the victims was organized for the College for which those involved in planning and leading the service are to be commended.  It would be the first of countless memorials which have been held in many places and many times in the twenty years since.  The world has been changed in unnumbered ways since that day and those changes to our daily lives continue in ways which we may not even be aware.  Taking a plane to travel has been changed, perhaps of necessity, for the worse.  The United States War in Afghanistan which resulted from that day, has now officially ended in defeat for the U.S. as it did in Viet Nam.  However, this has not ended the American military presence in Iraq and other parts of the Middle East.  The world still studies war and carries out war despite all the songs of peace and the many peace movements.  There is no sign of leaders making a real effort to use peace rather than war as their primary basis for foreign relations with their enemies.  And yet people of faith must continue to work for peace and to above all hope that we will study war no more, turn our swords into plough sheers and peace will flow like a mighty river in all lands.  We can only try above all to love our neighbours as ourselves whomever and wherever that neighbour is.

Blessings and may the love of God guide you on your journey.

Fear Not

Fear is one of the basic emotions that all people possess.   It seems to me that often our actions and inactions are controlled by what we fear and often we are not even aware that these fears are controlling our behaviours.  The Enneagram personality type system identifies nine basic personality types.  Each type has a different basic fear:

Type 1s: Fear being wrong or lazy. ...

Type 2s: Fear being unloved and unwanted. ...

Type 3s: Fear being worthless and disrespected. ...

Type 4s: Fear meaninglessness. ...

Type 5s: Fear not knowing. ...

Type 6s: Fear chaos. ...

Type 7s: Fear deprivation. ...

Type 8s: Fear being controlled.

Types 9s: Fear of conflict

I am a type 9 in the Enneagram and I can affirm that I try to avoid conflict where possible – or perhaps I should say, “if at all possible.”  Being a peacemaker as a way to avoid conflict can have its positive aspects but it can also have negative ones as well. 

Have you ever noticed how often fear comes up in the bible?  I did a check with an on-line Thesaurus and discovered that ‘fear’ occurs in 995 verses.  The appearance of angels is often accompanied by the directive to “fear not.”  One of the best known if the passage that is usually read in a Christmas pageant when an angel appears to the shepherds, “Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”  The implication is that the shepherds and probably all people are naturally afraid when they are visited by an angel or any form of divine visitation.  On the other hand, we are also told in Proverbs, “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”

It is wise to fear things that are potentially dangerous such as driving recklessly or running with knives or falling from great heights.  Or to use a current example, not getting a COVID vaccine unless there are medical reasons that prevent it.  Fear does serve a useful purpose and is no doubt one of the reasons the human race has survived for so many millennia.  However, as we can see by the many phobias which people can suffer from, it can be a force which imprisons us as well as one that can protect us. 

Fears can occur in dreams or nightmares in the form of being chased by a monster or some dark, dangerous unidentified thing.  One way to deal with a recurring dream of this nature this before you go to sleep, have the intention that in the dream you will turn around and face the monster and ask what it wants of you.  There is a great example in the literature of someone who had a recurring nightmare of being chased by a fire-breathing dragon.  The dreamer faced his fear and turned around and faced the dragon and asked why it was chasing him.  The dragon informed him that his smoking was going to kill him and he should give up that bad habit. 

The most positive thing you can do is to be conscious i.e., recognize when fear is operating in your life and decide if this a realistic fear.  Then you can strategize ways in which you can work with that fear and live life more fully.  IN no way do I want to imply that this is easy - I know from experience it isn’t.  But it is a possible way to move our lives forward in a positive way.

May you know your fears and find the message for you on your journey.