The Humble vs Pride Challenge

‘I am the most humble person in the world!’  We know immediately there is something wrong with that statement — even if we’re not quite sure what.  If someone is humble, they do not think of themselves in comparison to others.  In fact, the person who makes that statement is ironically prideful about their humility — which means that he or she is basically not humble.   There is an interesting variation on pride which I have run into recently; it has been coined as the humble-brag.  The person who humble- brags gets to blow his or her horn and yet appears on the surface as being humble. It can go something like this, “I am so humbled and honoured to be awarded this great award.  I don’t deserve it but it is wonderful to be able to do the great things that I have done.”  In effect the person is saying, “aren’t I wonderful I   have done these great things and am humble as well.  Quite a neat trick, the humble-brag. 

Pride does not get very good press in the bible.  Here are a few of the verses which deal with pride: Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs); One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honour (Proverbs); For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy (2 Timothy);  Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves.

Pride is definitely frowned upon by God and by the first Christian leaders.  With this very clearly negative view of pride I’m surprized that its opposite, humility didn’t make it into the Beatitudes.  

Let’s look at humility – the state of being humble.  Here are a few examples of how humility is viewed in the bible: Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves (Philippians); The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honour and life (Proverbs); Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted (Matt.); Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you (James).  Our Epistle set out humility in opposition to pride – God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.  Another passage gives a similar comparison, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom” (Proverbs).   We can see that it doesn’t seem that pride and humility can exist at the same time. 

That is why that first statement I made is just wrong.  If you are truly humble you are not going to believe you are more humble than everyone else or even anyone else.  You aren’t going to compare yourself to others — you just are who you are.

Indeed, our culture today certainly promotes pride as a good thing.  We are not encouraged to downplay our accomplishments and abilities.  We are told that to be successful we need to trumpet our accomplishments in social media.  If we are in business we see that those who don’t promote themselves don’t get customers — at least not many.  It seems that the sizzle is more important than the steak.  So it seems that to be a Christian then is to be counter cultural — to be against the culture.  I guess that shouldn’t come as a surprise to us.   As Christians we are told to turn the other cheek; to go the second mile; to love our neighbours — better, to love our enemies. 

One of the reasons that true humility is difficult is because it is natural to compare ourselves to others.  We want to know how we are doing and the way we seem to do that most naturally is in relationship to others.  We seem to receive that lesson right from the cradle.  We are told directly or indirectly that we should be like others – and by implication do better than others. 

We are given marks in school and by implication are those marks better marks the others —where do we stand in the class.  Even our play is turned into competition — we are taught that winning is good and losing is bad or at best it is an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and by learning win the next time.  We win awards in life – medals in sports and academia — we get the job and after that the promotion.  By implication others do not succeed and therefore we conclude that we are better than others. 

How are we to become truly humble?  Is it something that we can work to become or is it something that will be given to us as grace from God?  One of the best definitions of humility that I have come across is by Sister Jane — an Anglican Nun.  She defines humility as ‘seeing clearly’ — to be humble is to see clearly.  When I first read that I was puzzled by that.  How was humility related to seeing things clearly?  Well I first thought that if we clearly see ourselves as we are we will know that we don’t compare that well to others at least some others in the world.  No matter how much we succeed there will be others who are better at us in whatever way we judge ourselves.  Even world champions are not the best in everything or even many things. 

However, on reflection I believe that to see clearly means that we can see what is truly important in life — we can see what is truly important to God.  I don’t believe that God wants us to be better than others.  God wants us to be the person that God intends us to be. 

God does want us to develop and grow and become fully mature human being.  I believe that we have a human need to be better than others because we believe deep down that that is the only way we will be of value — the only way we will valued by others and by God. 

If we can truly come to believe and know that God loves us unconditionally — that God loves us because we are God’s beloved children than we can just be the people of God.  That is something to be proud of. 

 

Your Shadow’s Invited to the Banquet

 Last Sunday, the Gospel reading was Jesus’ parable of the rich man who invites his neighbours to a great feast.  None of the invited accept the invitation so he invites all those who wouldn’t usually be invited to a rich man’s celebration – the poor, the halt, the lame, the blind.  This is well summarized by the Medical Mission Sisters in their song, I Cannot Come to the Banquet, which we sang at the worship service. Here is the chorus:

I cannot come.
I cannot come to the banquet,
Don't trouble me now.
I have married a wife.
I have bought me a cow.
I have fields and commitments
That cost a pretty sum.
Pray, hold me excused,
I cannot come.

The meaning of this parable seems clear to us.  It is easier to understand than some of Jesus’ parables.  God offers a banquet to us.  As Christians we are people who will be invited to God’s banquet that is prepared for us in God’s kingdom.  However, many of us who are invited to God’s feast with all the wonderful food and drink that will feed our souls, will decide we have better things to do than attend the Great Feast.   

That is the usual understanding of the parable.  I believe that it is perfectly valid and true.  However, I want to look at another way of understanding the lesson that Jesus is giving us.  What if we look at this from an inner perspective?  What is God offering to us about ourselves—about who we are created by God to be?  We have those parts of ourselves which are good and upright and live a life that is acceptable to us and to society. 

What then of the guests that the master invites when we don’t partake—the poor street people, the halt, the lame, the outcasts and people we wouldn’t dream of inviting to our banquets?  What about the parts of ourselves that are the aspects of ourselves that we don’t find acceptable —the street people within us?  We can look at those people invited instead of us as aspect of ourselves that we don’t find acceptable—those parts of ourselves that we don’t like and don’t even want to acknowledge.  These unacceptable parts can raise their ugly heads when we aren’t looking. 

Those parts of ourselves that we don’t want to acknowledge are part of who we are.  Carl Jung named those parts of ourselves that are unacknowledged and denied the Shadow.  They are also invited to the Great Feast as the parable tells us.  If we are going to attend the Great Feast those parts are going to attend as well.  We have to acknowledge them to God if we are to attend.  Otherwise, we will not be included in the Great Feast that God offers us. 

Take a few moments to think an aspect of yourself that you would not want to invite to a party.   What would it be like to welcome that part of yourself to a party that Jesus is throwing?  What if Jesus welcomed that part and made them the guest of honour.  How would you feel about that?  That is the part of you that Jesus truly wants at the party.  If we will acknowledge them and offer them to God we will be invited to partake in the Great Feast that Jesus offers us—acceptable parts and unacceptable parts. 

Your Shadow is accompanying you on your journey.  Why not get to know you Shadow and see what it offers you.  That will be a true blessing. 

 

Is Joy More than Happiness?

 I have been experiencing a lot of joy this past week.  That experience is not of joy – rather, it was about joy. I have had more than a few encounters with people writing about joy.

Joy is something I have thought about and pondered in my life.  I must confess that I have had a difficult time really getting a handle on what an experience of joy actually is.  There is lots of theory and exposition about joy but if asked I would have trouble describing the direct experience of joy. I am quite able to know when I am happy but what is joy when it is experienced?

Checking out the definition of joy on-line was not very helpful.  The first source I came across defined joy in terms of happiness - simply “great happiness.”  Another was a bit more detailed, “the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.”  So, can it be that joy is just an exaggerated experience of happiness or is there a difference between joy and happiness? 

Here are excerpts of some of the expositions regarding joy that came my way this week.

Dr. Barbara Holmes’ (1943–2024) makes a direct distinction between happiness and joy:

Make no mistake about it, there’s a real difference between happiness and joy. The sources of happiness are very fleeting. Buy something new and see how fleeting it is. That new car, that new house, they lose their luster in a mere few weeks. True joy is foundational. It’s a basis of God’s love for us, sealed with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Could there be any firmer foundation? 

 

Mystic and theologian Howard Thurman (1899–1981) writes of faith as the most secure foundation for joy.  However, he does seem to conflate joy with happiness but gives us an expanded idea of joy:  

There are some who are dependent upon the mood of others for their happiness…. There are some whose joy is dependent upon circumstances…. There is a strange quality of awe in their joy, that is but a reflection of the deep calm water of the spirit out of which it comes. It is primarily a discovery of the soul, when God makes known [God’s] presence, where there are no words, no outward song, only the Divine Movement. This is the joy that the world cannot give. This is the joy that keeps watch against all the emissaries of sadness of mind and weariness of soul. This is the joy that comforts and is the companion, as we walk even through the valley of the shadow of death. 

 Rev. Dr. Jacqui Lewis also sees a relationship between joy and happiness:

Joy is that feeling of well-being, pleasure, and happiness that accompanies us as we move through life. It alters the way we see the world, its people, and ourselves. Joy tints our perspective with optimism and the confidence that we will go through the hard things, and though we might be bruised or battered, we’ll come out on the other side. Joy is the wellspring of resistance, the water of life. Now, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and smile from the inside out. There, there it is. Can you feel it? That’s joy!  

Considering all this, it seems to me that happiness is dependent on externalities.  You are happy if life brings you things that give you happiness.  However, joy seems to be something that comes from your inner being – from a deep source that is ironically from both the outside and inside. 

When thinking about joy this past week, I was able to identify an experience of joy when attending a funeral of someone I didn’t know personally – the mother of a colleague.  The funeral service ended with the choir singing the In Paradisum from Faure’s Requiem.  The music was external, but the experience of joy came from somewhere internal.  It was not happiness - it was joy.   I realized that I had experienced that many times before but didn’t recognize it s joy.  May you be blessed with joy on your journey.

Both Hope and Despair

Just after I finished posting my last edition of this blog on the subject of Hope and Despair, Lorna and I had a living example of just that – we had a an experience of both hope and despair.  Our cat Trixie (although she is much more Lorna’s cat) who is an indoor branch of the feline species, took the opportunity to explore the great outdoors.  Now I’m not completely convinced that this is an example of synchronicity, I think it is a candidate for this phenomenon.  Here is Lorna’s description of the event as recorded on Facebook: 

I was gardening and I didn't realize the door hadn't latched. Trixie likes to watch me out the window when I am in the yard. When she noticed the door was slightly open, she decided to explore a bit. I had just finished my work and turned to see a large orange and black cat scoot under the back porch. I was wearing my outside (baseball) hat, which scares her for some reason.

 

I thought it can't be Trixie; Trixie's not that big. Then I saw the open door.

She next ran out from under the back porch - Greg caught a glimpse-and likely went from there under the deck. Ater a few minutes of calling her then googling about indoor cats escaping outdoors, I tramped around the forsythia bush as suggested but I frightened her. She startled me by darting out from under it. She disappeared before I could see where she went

 

Anyhow, we left both doors open and put out treats and familiar smelling things like her litter box and blanket. I had an email from my daughter to distract me.

 

So, just as I got to the point in the email where I was telling her how unnerving it was, and how worried I was and what if she didn't come back, and wasn't it lucky she'd been chipped when I heard a small "meep," so I looked over my shoulder. Greg had just seen her in the bedroom, so he quietly closed the back door, and motioned me to close the front door. She must have walked right behind me without my noticing. Anyhow I tiptoed over and closed the door.

 

She came back about an hour after she got out. So, I have Joanna to thank because I decided to reply to her, and thus let Trixie come in on her own !!!

 

This is a great example of how hope and despair can be experienced in the same event.  The reaction by both Lorna and me swung between both ends of what I can describe as the hope and despair axis – despair that we will never see Trixie and again and we will never have another cat to the hope she will return if we do what Google advises. 

 I hope that any times of despair will be accompanied with hope on your journey. 

 

Hope and Despair

I recently listened to an episode of On Being with host Krista Tippett, which asked the questions: What is filling you with despair? And what is giving you hope?  These are very good questions for these times.  So, I would like to pose those questions to the readers of this blog, what is filling you with despair? And what is giving you hope?

Before you consider these questions, let me clarify what I mean by the terms hope and despair.  Generally, despair is defined as being without hope.  However, this is not all that helpful until we define hope.  I believe it is better, for our purposes, to define this as being resigned to the inevitable; to have no possibility (hope) that the current situation will not improve and will lead to the end that is in front of us and there is no possibility that something will intervene to prevent that from happening.

Turning to hope, it is often the case that hope is used synonymously with optimism.  I can be optimistic that some situation or event will turn out okay in the end regardless – regardless of what?  There is nothing that is required of you to bring about the outcome you are wanting.  Hope, on the other hand, is to my mind, the possibility that things will turn out for the best if forces are brought to bear on that issue and work to bring about the desired outcome.

That force is sometimes – perhaps even often – a divine one which will bring about the best of all possible worlds or at least the best of possible outcome in this case.  This is best expressed by the saying of Julian of Norwich, the 14th century English mystic, "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."   However, in hope there is also the possibility thahopt the forces will be based here on earth comprised of people working to achieve the desired ends.  Sometimes these forces combine as in the Social Gospel movement to bring about the Kingdom of God which will encompass the ends that are hoped for.  This can be considered faith in action.

It is easy to despair these days with the wildfires raging across many parts of Western Canada, and warfare raging in Ukraine, and the slow-motion destruction of the Palestinian people in Gaza.  However, we must not give up hope and let despair win. 

So, I will leave you with the questions I began with: What is filling you with despair? And what is giving you hope?  

  

The ‘If Only’ Life

The Gospel reading for Sunday was John 5.1-9 which tells of Jesus healing the lame man by the pool of Bethzatha.  Jesus asks him, “Do you want to be made well?” 

The ill man needed to realize that he would have to approach life in a new and radically different way if and when he was healed.  For pretty much his whole life he had been dependant on others for what he was given.  Now, he would literally and figuratively have to stand on his two feet and become responsible for how he lived his life. 

He probably could not comprehend what that meant.  Therefore, Jesus was asking him if he was ready and willing to live life in a new way.  We don’t know how he fared after the healing in his new life – scripture doesn’t tell us, so we can only imagine. 

But what has it to do with us here and now today?  We are not sitting by the pool of Bethzatha waiting for someone to take us down to the pool to be healed.  But is there an equivalent to that?  We can be waiting for God to make things right in our life.  We can live in the ‘if only’ life.  I would be happy and fulfilled ‘if only’ I had more money or ‘if only’ I had more friends, or ‘if only’ I had a different job – that was a big one for me earlier in my life.  It might be some handicap or illness that someone is experiencing which is quite understandably challenging – who am I to judge the challenges others have in their lives.

But what is the ‘if only’ that is keeping us from living the full life we are intended to live?  Whatever is keeping us from living the lives that God intends us to live, Jesus is telling us that we are loved by Jesus and Jesus will be there to help us and support us just as he was for that man waiting and hoping to taken to the healing waters of Bethzatha. 

Whatever our circumstances, are we ready to live our life in the way of Jesus?  Are we ready to give up the ‘if only’ in our lives?   Jesus is calling us to do just that.  

Where’s the Holy Humour

Bruce Tallman, who is a spiritual Director, wrote recently about attending a lecture by a Michael Higgins on his new book, The Jesuit Disruptor: A Personal Portrait of Pope Francis:

According to (Michael) Higgins, Francis was first and foremost a pastor, a pope of the heart because, although an intellectual like most Jesuits, Francis believed, like Blaise Pascal, that the heart is greater than reason. The heart has reasons of its own that reason alone cannot comprehend. As Archbishop Oscar Romero wrote, “There are things that can only be understood by eyes that have cried.”

I Believe that when we do just that – let our hearts do the thinking we approach what has been called Holy Humour.  I have written about Holy Humour previously.  So, what then do we make of Holy Humour?  Can there be true humor in such a serious thing as religion?  One author who explores this is Helen Luke in her collection of essays, The Laughter at the Heart of Things.  One commentary I came upon summarizes the essence of what Luke is saying very well:

What is at the heart of the matter, according to Helen Luke, is a sense of proportion.  Luke quotes T.S. Eliot and notes that, “Eliot is, expressing here (in the quote) the identity of a sense of humour with the sense of proportion and the humility that this engenders”.  What is at the heart of things the joy of seeing disproportion restored to proportion.

At bottom, the humour is getting us in touch with joy – the joy of being part of God’s creation.  After all, to quote a group of musical religious sister – the Medical Mission Sisters, joy is like the rain.  Perhaps those are raindrops on roses to bring in another song. 

May you be blessed with holy humour on your journey.  Remember joy is a serious matter not to be taken too lightly – too much of the time.