Pride and Pain

Last week I reflected on humility and noted that my favourite definition was that to be truly humble is to see clearly.  I had an interesting follow-up to that theme which began with listening to a fascinating podcast on the internet which I had heard about some time previously.  It is entitled S-Town.  The podcast itself is very engaging and I have gone on to listen to quite a few episodes (it is nice to have time to do this type of activity being at the cottage).  I began to listen to it a few weeks ago.  It is a fascinating exploration of the life of a most engaging talented individual whose life unfortunately spiraled down and ended in suicide.  If you are interested in checking it out it can be found at https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-american-life/stown/e/49575276

The theme song for the podcast is a haunting piece by the Zombies entitled A Rose for Emily.  I was and am fascinated by it an on exploration discovered it was based on a short story by William Faulkner.  Again, I was unfamiliar with this story.  Here are the lyrics to the song and a link to a performance of it by the Zombies:

The summer is here at last

The sky is overcast

And no one brings a rose for Emily

She watches her flowers grow

While lovers come and go

To give each other roses from her tree.

But not a rose for Emily...

Emily, can't you see (how the sun is shining again)

There's nothing you can do?

There's loving everywhere

But none for you.

Her roses are fading now

She keeps her pride somehow

That's all she has protecting her from pain

And as the years go by

She will grow old and die

The roses in her garden fade away

Not one left for her grave

Not a rose for Emily...

Emily, can't you see (how the sun is shining again)

There's nothing you can do?

There's loving everywhere

But none for you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF55LNrHBSw

In turn I investigated the story A Rose for Emily and found it to be a sad tale of a Southern Belle in the post-civil war Reconstruction Southern United States who is unable to engage in life and, as the song say, she fades away and lives frozen in the past.  It is a true Gothic Tale with a rather gruesome ending which is not reflected in the lyrics.  The song does a wonderful job in capturing the essence of the story in a very few lines.

Now you may be asking yourself what this has to do with humility.  Well, as the song states, “She keeps her pride somehow. That's all she has protecting her from pain.”  Pride, of course is the opposite of humility.  In Emily’s case her pride kept her frozen in the past and prevented her from living life.  It is natural to feel pride in our accomplishments but as the old aphorism states pride goeth before a fall.  This is actually an adaption of the saying in Proverbs ‘Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall’ (Proverbs 16:18). 

Pride can lead us into places which prevent us from living life as fully as possible and becoming the people that God created us to be.  One source defines it as, “excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God.”   It is one of the seven deadly sins and the extreme aspect of it is hubris, which the source notes, is the gateway through all other sin enters the mortal soul. 

Pride, as with other human characteristics can be tricky to deal with.  There is nothing wrong with taking pride in an accomplishment which you have striven for done well in.  It would be false humility to say, ‘oh it was nothing’ and dismiss it.  Just as it is would false pride to take credit for some accomplishment and maintain that it was done completely on own and not acknowledge all that enabled you to succeed.

One commentary on the Divine Comedy by Dante notes, “While the love that flows from God is pure, it can become sinful as it flows through humanity. Humans can sin by using love towards improper or malicious ends (Wrath, Envy, Pride), or using it to proper ends but with love that is either not strong enough (Sloth) or love that is too strong (lust, gluttony, greed).”  

As the song and the story tells us that pride can be a defense against pain.  That is the rub, Horatio.  It takes true humility to look at ourselves clearly see those parts of ourselves that we truly don’t want to acknowledge.  When we do that our pride will be injured.  However, take heart, it is only our false pride.

Blessings on your journey with all its twists and turns and dead ends and new beginnings.