On December 18th, I wrote about Kenosis or self-emptying
as a way of observing Advent. I want to
continue my thoughts on the subject as a way of observing Lent. The Gospel reading for yesterday, the First Sunday
of Lent, was Mark’s account of the baptism of Jesus immediately followed by Jesus
spending forty day and nights in the wilderness (Mark 1. 9-15).
I appreciate Mark’s account of Jesus going into the wilderness
as the Gospel states that “the Spirit immediately drove (my emphasis) him out into the wilderness.” The other two synoptic Gospels, Matthew and
Luke, have a different description of this action by the Holy Spirit, they both
say that the Spirit led Jesus into
the wilderness. There is a significant difference
between being led into the wilderness and being driven into it. I have long preferred Mark’s version because
it emphasizes Jesus’ humanity. In my theology,
if Jesus was fully human he had, to some extent, the human reluctance to fully
embrace what he understood as the will of his Heavenly Father. This
is most dramatically demonstrated in the Garden of Gethsemane before Good Friday.
I’m sure that Jesus had a very good idea
of the trials and challenges that he would face in the wilderness and did not
embrace those with open arms. However,
he also knew that he would need to have the wilderness experience to prepare him
for his earthly ministry. Therefore, I
appreciate the idea of the Spirit, shall we say, strongly encouraging Jesus to
undertake that necessary journey.
In my scenario, Jesus was experiencing the dissonance between
what we want and what we believe that God knows we need. That is why Jesus had to be driven into the
wilderness by the Holy Spirit―God in action. This is an ongoing challenge for most, if not
all of us; to do what we know we should be doing and do what we want to do. St. Paul expressed this very well, “I do not
understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing
I hate.” (Romans 7:15). This is where the ego comes in. The ego wants to be in control and wants what
it wants. It is an ongoing challenge to have
the ego serve God and not the other way around―but that is a topic for
another day.
The challenge for my Lenten journey is to give up some of priorities
set by my ego and to let it be in the service of God. To do that I need to empty myself of some of the
things that I want and allow space for God to enter. Actually, it is more a case of recognizing God’s
presence in myself and my life because God is always there. However, I often am not aware of God’s
presence as I am distracted by all the activities and wants and desires in my day
to day life.
One way which I do that is through Centering Prayer. This practice involves emptying you mind of
all thoughts―or
at least trying to because our western minds are not welcoming of having no thoughts. In Centering Prayer, the minds tendency to
fill up any empty spaces is referred to as “the monkey brain”. I have practices Centering Prayer for some
years now. I was introduced to it in the
Spiritual Direction training. I have attempted
to do it regularly but have not always been successful. By regularly I mean one session daily for 20
minutes. When thoughts come into your
head during the prayer session, as they inevitably do, the idea is to not dwell
on them, just let them float away.
Hopefully, this respite from brain activity and thoughts
will make me more aware for God’s presence in my life. I have decided that my Lenten practice will
be to engage in Centering Prayer every day in Lent. I must admit I was not successful yesterday. I did attend three worship services including
a wonderful sung Evensong at St. Paul’s Cathedral. The others were at two congregations
in my new parish where I preached at both services. Fortunately, Lent does not officially include
Sundays, so I guess I am off the hook. However,
I think that is my ego trying to justify the things I have not done that I should
have done.
I am eternally grateful that God is good and forgiving of all
our shortcomings, both large and small.
May you have a Holy Lent.
Greg
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