Achieving Disagreement

Last Sunday was the second Sunday of Advent.  We lit the candle for peace.  Perhaps this was done with a something of futility and perhaps despair.  As the carol says:

And in despair I bowed my head
There is no peace on earth I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men

(I heard the Bells on Christmas Day)

I believe that we can be excused from falling into despair (the opposite of Hope which is the first Advent candle.  We have examples of totalitarian governments springing up in countries that are democracies. Perhaps springing up is the wrong word―infecting would be better.  The Brexit foolishness is slouching towards its inexorable uncertain conclusion.  Our American neighbours seem also to be inexorably split into two divides separated by an ever-widening chasm between red and blue.  Signs of peace seem to be few and far between even as we prepare for the birth of the Prince of Peace.

I was reading an article in the New York Times, After Bush, Obituary Wars, by Frank Bruni which addressed the reaction to the eulogizing of George H. W. Bush.  commentator on the left were scathing in their reaction to uncritical assessment of his life that was put forward by many.  As Bruni said, there was much to criticize in a man who “leaned on the despicable Willie Horton ad, who nominated Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court, who did little in the face of AIDS.”  However, there was much to eulogize in a man who was basically a good and honourable man.  As the column noted, we have the need to see our villains without redemption and our heroes without blemish.  It is comfortable to see things in black and white.  We don’t have to make the effort to deal with the subtleties of the grays in the world.  Our prejudices are affirmed and confirmed. 

One way to address this was presented in an On Being program, The Future of Marriage https://onbeing.org/programs/david-blankenhorn-and-jonathan-rauch-the-future-of-marriage/ .  The program was a discussion by two men who have been on opposite side of the same-sex marriage debate.  It is not my desire to get into this mine field (at least at this time).  What I want to uphold is the approach that they used in discussing this rather fraught issue for different perspectives.  They proposed that what people would aim for when they are on opposite sides of an issue is “achieving disagreement”.   The goal is not to come to a point where both parties come to the same position.  Rather it is to understand and accept that people can have different positions which can still allow us to respect the other party.  As they note, “being right is not as important as making a pact with my fellow Americans on the other side so that we can live together.”

Living together perhaps does not seem like a high ideal to aim for, especially at this time of year.  However, if we can learn to live with one another and accept each other as human beings, worthy of respect we will have achieved a great deal.  From a Christian perspective it is seeing each other as Children of God and we can begin to strive for peace on earth and goodwill to all.

The carol does not end in despair.  Rather, it ends in hope; hope for peace on earth:

Then rang the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor does he sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men

Blessings on your journey.