I Believe, Help My Unbelief

I am jumping the gun a bit in considering the doubting of Thomas.  He is the one who demanded proof of the resurrected Jesus.  However, as we enter the season of the resurrection, I believe it is worth considering doubt and Thomas who might be considered the patron saint of doubters. 

I checked on-line with the “Google machine”, as someone has called it, but couldn’t find any good quotes about doubting.  It doesn’t seem to have a lot of good press―at least at first glance.  Thomas didn’t do a lot to give it a good name.  He believed in the risen Christ only when he had physical proof that Jesus was not a ghost.  However, he did believe in the end.  Jesus acknowledged that Thomas did believe but Jesus held that it is better to believe without demanding proof, “Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’”

So, those who do not require proof and yet believe are upheld in this mini beatitude.  Where then does it leave those of us who have doubts at least some of the time?  I include myself as I tend to doubt at times and yet am able to believe much of what is in the Christian Creed(s).  Although, I must confess that I do have my own understanding of what it means that Jesus was “born of the virgin Mary” among other statement contained in the creeds.

In my times of doubt or unbelief I often fall back on the biblical passage, “I believe; help my unbelief!’  Faith does seem to be a God given gift so what if that gift is not as fulsome as we would like it to be?  Perhaps we should re-frame doubt so it doesn’t get such bad press.  I can think of the fairy tale of the Emperor’s New Clothes in which the child sees the proof that the Emperor has no cloths and has the naivety to simple wisdom to call out a fraud.  If the child had had blind faith that everyone else was correct in their assessment of the emperor, the truth would never have been revealed.  Certainly there are no shortage of emperors of various kinds today that need to be exposed for what they are.  Doubt can play an important role in bringing light on to a situation that desperately needs it.

Anglicans have three pillars on which their faith rests; scripture, reason and tradition.  I have found this to be a strength of my Anglicanism.  We need to balance faith so it can be informed by these three pillars.  I am not going to check my God given reason at the door of the church or my life.  My understanding of scripture is going to be informed by my education using my reason to help me understand how God is working in my life and in the world.  This does require work and can be messy at times, just as it must have been rather messy for Thomas to put his fingers in the holes in Jesus’ side.   However, I have faith that God in all aspects of the Trinity understands my doubts and unbelief as well as my belief.  I can often come to believe in time so I hope I am blessed in this as Jesus states. 

Blessings on your journey.