Becoming Like a Child

 As Lorna and I prepare to leave for our cottage in P.E.I.  I want to share with you one of my missives from 2014 which I hope you may appreciate.  It is one I wrote during our second summer at the cottage.   It is amazing to think that this will be our tenth year at the cottage. 

The concept of becoming like a child has been constellating in my mind in the last couple of weeks.  I can’t say I thought of the bible passage until a few days ago when I realized there had been a number of examples of this that were coming together in my life.  The bible passage that finally broke through into my consciousness was Matthew 18: 3, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”. 

This started with reading Maggie’s Memories, a book of letters by Margaret Duncan Borden to her grandchildren.  The letters were compiled by Eldon Hay who is a cousin (although I haven’t quite figured out the actual relationship — it’s something like a second cousin once removed.  Eldon and his wife Ann attended our open house (open cottage) a few weeks ago and gave us a copy of the book as a cottage warming present.  The book is subtitled “A Covententer Childhood in 19^th Century Botsford Parish, New Brunswick.   The letters are delightful recollections of a child’s life in a very different age.  As Eldon notes in the introduction, “Written as a series of vignettes ranging in time from earliest memories to the first stirrings of womanhood, the letters conjure up a remarkably vivid picture of an extraordinarily happy childhood in rural New Brunswick during the 1860’s, 7o’s and early 80’s”. 

The letters capture vividly and marvelously the ethos of a completely different time and place that existed in Canada at the beginning of Confederation.  Beyond the enjoyment of reading the letters I was surprized by the association which came to my mind which was of Alice in Wonderland/through the Looking Glass.  This puzzled me at first but on reflection I believe because it was written from the perspective of a young girl but also and possible more significantly because both works capture something of the efforts of a child to navigate through a somewhat strange and new landscape.  Undoubtedly there were no Mad Hatters or Cheshire Cats or in Maggie’s Memories but there seemed to be a few characters that could appear that way to a child’s eyes. 

The next adventure in the worldview of a child was watching a video of To Kill a Mockingbird a few nights ago.  We only have a small portable TV and a VCR player (no DVDs in our cottage life) so we are restricted to movies we can get on VHS.  This work also caught the world view of a young girl, Scout.  There were monster who turned out to be friendly giants i.e. Boo Radley and evil demons who were defeated in the end i.e. Bob Ewell, the evil man who was defeated by the friendly giant who rescued the young prince, Jem. 

All these brought back memories of my childhood and how the world could be a very scary place at times.  It was a world that, if not full of monsters, contained monsters under the bed and in other dark places and giants who I was not sure were friendly or unfriendly.   I spent a long time trying to figure out how the world actually worked and what my place was in it.  The reality is that I am still trying to figure those things out.  So what is it that Jesus means when he tells us to become like children — or like a little child?  The next verse does give us a clue, 4 Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  I find it is a real challenge to be truly humble which requires me to put my ego in the service of the Self as Carl Jung would say or in theological terms — to put the ego in the service of God.  The best perspective of humility that I know is by Sister Jane, an Anglican Nun.  She says that to be humble is to see clearly.  Perhaps that is seeing the world through a child’s eyes with no assumptions about being in control. 

May you be blessed to view the world as a child on your journey.  Blessings. 

Is It “And” or “Yes But”?

I have gained an appreciation of a particular the important word over the years.  It came to mind recently with one of Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations which was entitled, The Shining Word “And”.  Thinking about it I reflected that often life is a question of choosing to respond either with an ‘And’ or a ‘Yes, But’.

Rohr provided an extensive list of ‘And’ possibilities and I have selected a portion of them to give you an idea of the possibilities of responding with ‘And’ in life.

 

Father Richard offers a contemplative practice of embracing “and.” We encourage you to read these words slowly, allowing for a “both-and” space to emerge within:

“And” teaches us to say yes

“And” allows us to be both-and

“And” keeps us from either-or

“And” teaches us to be patient and long suffering

“And” heals our racism, sexism, heterosexism, and classism

“And” allows us to critique both sides of things

“And” allows us to enjoy both sides of things

“And” is the very Mystery of Trinity

The first instance or suggestion of saying “yes” can often turn into a “yes, but”.  This is one of the “games that people play” a la Transactional Analysis which I dabbled in many year ago.  The Yes, But game is a passive aggressive response by people who do not want to do what is suggested but does not want to give a definitive ‘No’.   As an example, someone may ask you for help solving a problem in their life and you are very pleased that the person seems to value your opinion.  You give, what you think is great advice and exactly what they need to solve the issue or turn their life around.  They respond yes that is a good suggestion but I can’t do it for x or y or z or …  This is a game that people can fill up their lives believing on some level they want to change or solve what ails them but deep down are afraid to make the change.  I have seen examples where people get caught up is the helping or rescuing mode of trying to solve someone’s problem but it turns into a series of ‘Yes, Buts’ to every suggestion.

I’m sure I have fallen for the Yes, But game at times - both on the giving and receiving ends so to speak.  It is helpful to remember to try and respond to life with an And rather than a Yes, But.  May we all have that wisdom on our journey.

Walking With Jesus

I was particularly moved by two articles in Saturday’s Globe and Mail.  They both caught my attention as examples of what faith can do to and for people.  One was, for me, a wonderful example of what it means to walk with Jesus as a model in your life.  The other was, in my view, an example of how people can be led astray by misplaced faith and what happens when you ignore the teachings of Jesus. 

 

The first article was an obituary for Clifford Raymond Derksen.  Mr. Derksen was a man whose actions stood out to redeem a tragedy and turned it into an example of what it means to be Christ-like.  Mr. Dirksen’s daughter, Candace, was murdered by an unknown person in 1984.  Two days after Candace’s body was found, Clifford Derksen, with his wife, Wilma at his side, held a press conference in which he expressed forgiveness and compassion for the unknown person who had murdered their daughter.  

 

Unfortunately, this action, based on their understanding of the example of Jesus Christ who forgave those who crucified him, was not met with approval and support.  It was met with suspicion and disbelief.  Clifford Derksen did not fit the model of the grieving father and he was subjected to other people’s suspicion of his actions, which lingered despite proof that he could not be the perpetrator of the horrible crime. 

  

This example of forgiveness is, unfortunately, unimaginable for most people.  I have serious doubts that I could follow the example of Clifford Derksen.  However, as the article notes quoting writer Malcolm Gladwell: 

It's inconceivable that you could forgive in that circumstance until you meet someone who’s done it.  So, when you meet someone like that, and you understand that these kinds of inconceivable things can be done by ordinary people, that expands your universe.   

Clifford Derksen’s ability to forgive was no easy thing.  It was founded in a life which drew on his religious faith as a Mennonite, developing strategies for dealing with his challenges that included memorizing large portions of the Bible.  As Dirksen noted,” The thing about forgiveness is you have to go to hard places.  You have to be ready to be courageous… I didn’t do this overnight.”   

The second article, by Ian Brown, was a follow-up with people involved with the Trucker Convoy, which occupied Ottawa for three weeks earlier this year.  One of the people interviewed had a firm belief that, as the article stated, “the convoy wasn’t just organized, it was ordained. An Almighty presence was there all along.”   

The Trucker Convoy, in my view, seemed to be a conglomerate of many different groups and individuals protesting many things which included anti-government action and inaction, conspiracy theorists, and libertarian beliefs.  However, it came down to two basic things as the article points out: first, the end to all pandemic restrictions and second, the dissolution of the Federal Government.  I

However, I believe that the majority of people were there to protest mask and vaccine mandates as an infringement on their freedoms, not to dissolve the government.   

Luke Kendze, one of the subjects of the article, said that the Convoy was ordained by God. I disagree with this assertion.  He based this on the facts that all their needs were almost miraculously supplied and everything appeared like manna from heaven (my categorization).  In addition, there were no fatalities during the trip to Ottawa. As Kendze stated, “We should have had a fatality along the way…Bit it was unbelievable, a divine movement, by design, not by accident.” 

 This conclusion is flawed in my assessment.  Kendze, a Christian, cannot base his anti-mask and anti- vaccine position, on a divine foundation.  Jesus’s great commandment was to love one another.   If you believe that your actions are Christian when they put yourself and others at risk in the middle of a pandemic, which killed may millions of people world-wide, that is not following Jesus Christ.  It is mistaken that he concluded that what happened was proof that God had ordained his actions and those of the thousands of people who descended on Ottawa and deprived its residents of their freedoms.    

 There was support for the actions of the Trucker Convoy, but it was support based on populism and not from a divine source.  I realize that my attitude towards the people in the Convoy is unforgiving and I do wish I was able to be more like that of Jesus and Clifford Derksen in this but I am not there yet. 

I hope and pray that we may find forgiveness for ourselves and others on our journey.