Advent 4 Loving Yourself; Giving Yourself

The qualities of love proposed by Erich Fromm in The Art of Loving, are giving, care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.  I am exploring these themes during Advent to see what they mean when applied to loving ourselves.  I believe that we need to love ourselves before we can truly love others.   In Advent 1, I explored caring for yourself.  In Advent 2, I explored knowing yourself.  Advent 3, I explored respecting yourself. Today I will explore giving to yourself.

Gifts come in all sizes and types to Forward Movement–from stocks and bequests to stamps purchased from the prison commissary. One donor sends us wrinkled dollar bills, never amounting to more than $5, with a return address from a residential healthcare facility. These gifts usually come with a note of thanksgiving, reminding me that generosity often comes from a deep well of gratitude. We give the gifts first given us out of joy, appreciation, and an understanding that nothing we have in this life comes of our own merit.  God has blessed us with garlands and gladness to share with the world.  -Lindsay Barrett-Adler

When we think of gift giving at Christmas, we can think of the materialism that has become the hallmark of the cultural Christmas.  I often wonder what the wise men, I sometimes blame for the frenzy of materialism that seems to overtake the Western World, would think if they could see the world today.  The above quote gives an alternate approach to gift giving which is more closely related to the actions of the wise men.  They are more related to the widow giving her mite, whom Jesus held up as an example.  However, what does it mean to give to yourself, which is the topic for today's part of the Advent journey?

 Giving to yourself seems to be a strange thing to do for Christmas.  We give gifts to others.  To give a gift to yourself seems to be selfish, doesn’t it.  Definitely not in the spirit of Christmas.  But if we ask ourselves what it is that we truly need for ourselves what would we say in response?  I know I do not need more things.   I do not need a roof over my head or more food, despite the high cost.  There are many people in Canada, much less the world, who do need these things.  I feed my body quite adequately (and sometimes more) in a very comfortable home.  However, what I do need is to feed my soul.  Despite my good intentions, I don’t always spend time with the divine in my life.  The divine is the manifestation of God as I experience it.  I do spend time in prayer and meditation.  However, that seems to be the thing that I forgo when life gets in the way. 

Like the little Shepherd Boy, I ask what can I give him, poor as I am - perhaps rich in many ways but not poor enough in spirit?  I can give my heart.  That is giving what I need to give myself.

As Advent draws to a close may you have been blessed and may you continue to be blessed in giving yourself what you truly need.