Your Shadow’s Invited to the Banquet

 Last Sunday, the Gospel reading was Jesus’ parable of the rich man who invites his neighbours to a great feast.  None of the invited accept the invitation so he invites all those who wouldn’t usually be invited to a rich man’s celebration – the poor, the halt, the lame, the blind.  This is well summarized by the Medical Mission Sisters in their song, I Cannot Come to the Banquet, which we sang at the worship service. Here is the chorus:

I cannot come.
I cannot come to the banquet,
Don't trouble me now.
I have married a wife.
I have bought me a cow.
I have fields and commitments
That cost a pretty sum.
Pray, hold me excused,
I cannot come.

The meaning of this parable seems clear to us.  It is easier to understand than some of Jesus’ parables.  God offers a banquet to us.  As Christians we are people who will be invited to God’s banquet that is prepared for us in God’s kingdom.  However, many of us who are invited to God’s feast with all the wonderful food and drink that will feed our souls, will decide we have better things to do than attend the Great Feast.   

That is the usual understanding of the parable.  I believe that it is perfectly valid and true.  However, I want to look at another way of understanding the lesson that Jesus is giving us.  What if we look at this from an inner perspective?  What is God offering to us about ourselves—about who we are created by God to be?  We have those parts of ourselves which are good and upright and live a life that is acceptable to us and to society. 

What then of the guests that the master invites when we don’t partake—the poor street people, the halt, the lame, the outcasts and people we wouldn’t dream of inviting to our banquets?  What about the parts of ourselves that are the aspects of ourselves that we don’t find acceptable —the street people within us?  We can look at those people invited instead of us as aspect of ourselves that we don’t find acceptable—those parts of ourselves that we don’t like and don’t even want to acknowledge.  These unacceptable parts can raise their ugly heads when we aren’t looking. 

Those parts of ourselves that we don’t want to acknowledge are part of who we are.  Carl Jung named those parts of ourselves that are unacknowledged and denied the Shadow.  They are also invited to the Great Feast as the parable tells us.  If we are going to attend the Great Feast those parts are going to attend as well.  We have to acknowledge them to God if we are to attend.  Otherwise, we will not be included in the Great Feast that God offers us. 

Take a few moments to think an aspect of yourself that you would not want to invite to a party.   What would it be like to welcome that part of yourself to a party that Jesus is throwing?  What if Jesus welcomed that part and made them the guest of honour.  How would you feel about that?  That is the part of you that Jesus truly wants at the party.  If we will acknowledge them and offer them to God we will be invited to partake in the Great Feast that Jesus offers us—acceptable parts and unacceptable parts. 

Your Shadow is accompanying you on your journey.  Why not get to know you Shadow and see what it offers you.  That will be a true blessing. 

 

Advent 3 Loving Yourself; Respecting Yourself

The qualities of love proposed by Erich Fromm in The Art of Loving, are giving, care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.  I am exploring these themes during Advent to see what they mean when applied to loving ourselves.  I believe that we need to love ourselves before we can truly love others.   In Advent 1, I explored caring for yourself.  In Advent 2, I explored knowing yourself.  Today I want to explore respecting yourself.

The first things that comes to mind when I think about respect, is the great song by the great Aretha Franklin:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB
Oh (sock it to me, sock it to me
Sock it to me, sock it to me)
A little respect (sock it to me, sock it to me
Sock it to me, sock it to me)
Whoa, babe (just a little bit)

We all want to be respected by the people in our lives - those we encounter and especially the people that we love and who love us.  I have certainly had the experience of not being respected by people in my life, usually not people who I am close to.  I have also not always shown respect to everyone I have encountered in my life.  That has led to many regrets that are the ghost that visit me at 4:00 in the morning. I am sure that most people, if not everyone, has had that experience. 

That being said, what does it mean to respect yourself?  After all, that is the topic I am exploring this morning.  I believe that the basis for respecting myself and yourself is to know yourself.  Each person has aspects that he or she does not want to acknowledge or doesn’t even know is part of themselves.  Carl Jung called these aspects of ourselves as, the Shadow.  They can be most easily recognized in dreams as a dark, shadowy person who is behaving in ways that are not acceptable or even nice when assessed by our conscious selves.  They can also be recognized when we have an overreaction to someone, we take an instant dislike to.  We see aspects of ourselves in them that we have denied. 

If we are to respect ourselves – all of who we are we must acknowledge the whole package.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses but we are called to become those strengths that we embrace and celebrate do not come without those parts of ourselves that we do not embrace.  To love who you are, who God created you to be is to acknowledge all of who you are.  It does not mean you have to live out those aspects of yourself which you find it difficult to accept but you need to first be aware of them and to accept yourself as you are.  If you do that you may be able to understand yourself and decide how you want to live with all of who you are.  That will enable you to come to know what it means to respect yourself.  As Aretha says, you will be able to show yourself respect - just a little bit; Whoa, babe (just a little bit) and then even more.

May you be blessed to know and respect yourself on your journey this Advent. 

Me and My Shadow

 Are you and your shadow strolling down the avenue as the lyric to the song proclaims?  It seems to me that the shadow or perhaps shadows in the world today is growing to lengths we haven’t seen for many years – perhaps since the rise in Naziism pre–World War 2.  But then again perhaps it is just that the shadow is more visible today because of social media and the instant news (real or not) available on every corner of the internet.

First, let’s be clear about what I am talking about when I speak of the shadow.  I am using the concept developed by Carl Jung.  Jung identified that everyone has parts of themselves which they are not aware of.  These can be aspect or characteristics which are unacceptable to them, that is the dark shadow and also aspects which as positive, but we do not recognize in ourselves, that is the bright shadow.   Here is one succinct description of the shadow which you may find helpful from :

Carl Jung, a renowned Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, called this the “shadow self.” According to Jung, the shadow is the dark, unconscious side of our personality that we often repress or deny. Jung believed that the shadow self is not inherently negative or evil but a natural and necessary part of human nature.  https://medium.com/personal-growth/beware-of-the-shadow-self-carl-jung-659dff8eef18#:~:text=Jung%20believed%20that%20our%20shadow,were%20to%20know%20about%20them.

The shadow can manifest itself in people’s lives when you have a reaction to someone or something which is instant and highly energized.  A person’s shadow is projected on someone what has the characteristics that we don’t recognize in ourselves.  This is for better and often for ill.  Have you ever taken an instant dislike to someone who pushes your buttons and causes you to react negatively which is out of proportion to their behaviour.  Of course, that can work in the other direction, and you may look up to someone as having all the characteristics you admire.  This is the shadow at work.  Carl Jung explains:

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness’s of other people. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

The shadow will appear in our dreams, often, but not always, as a dark figure of the same sex as the dreamer.  By paying attention to our dreams and particularly the shadow figures in them we can be conscious of them and be aware of how the shadow in ourselves is working in our lives. 

The shadow can also operate collectively in groups of people.  This is where the danger to society is greatest.  I will speak more about that next time.

May you be blessed to befriend your shadow on your journey as you stroll down the avenue together.