It would appear that the story of the marriage of Isaac and
Rebekah tells us much about the marriage customs on the early Israelites and probably
many peoples of that time and part of the world. What is striking to me is how much the
customs around this have changed in the millennia since. With all the change there are still echoes of
the customs and in some parts of the world there are still many similarities
with arranged marriages and dowries. We
get only glimpses of these practices when they make the news and of course that
only happens when there are problems or disasters such as the first wife and disobedient
daughters being killed by the father and brother a few years ago in
Ontario. I wonder if there are positive
things about these customs in the way they are practiced today. We look at these things through our Western
eyes and are of course do not comprehend how any form of marriage other than
one based on romantic love could be considered.
We also do know that romantic love doesn’t work all that well a lot of
the time but we think that is a not a problem of the form but rather of how it
is practiced.
I knew this passage reasonably well and am always interested
in what sticks when I read such a passage again. No matter how often I read a passage there
always seems to be something which particularly sticks on rereading it. In this reading what stuck was the role of
vow and blessing. The passage begins by
the servant assign with the job of finding a wife for Isaac (who I noticed this
time is unnamed) swears an oath by God to Abraham. He does this by placing his hand under
Abraham’s thigh – a very intimate act. Near
the end of the chapter Rebekah’s family blesses her: “May you, our sister, become
thousands of myriads; may your offspring gain possessions of the gates of their
foes.” Vows and oaths and blessings are
still present in our culture today but as with many of the customs and
practices they are mere echoes of what they were in the past. This is something which we are poorer for
today. They have lost much of the
luminous – the power of the divine - which they contained in ages past. If we took vows and blessings such as those
made as part of weddings or baptisms or any other aspect of life truly
seriously our lives and society would be better for it. However, to do that we would truly have to
hold the sacred as a real and vital part of our lives.
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