A Room of My Own

Virginia Wolfe famously wrote about having a room of one’s own as being necessary as "a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction."  My memory of what she wrote was a bit hazier before I googled it as it is buried in the depths of my memory of my first University English class which was after all, in another millennium buried in the depths of the 1970’s.

That phrase, a room of one’s own, came to mind as Lorna and I have been settling into our cottage for the summer and I just returned from the room of my own, the bunkie which is my own space.  You might say it is a space within a space ̶ part of the space that Lorna and I occupy each summer in Prince Edward Island – you could say it is the place of our own. 

Virginia Woolf was speaking from what could be criticized as being a middle-class privileged space about the challenges of creating her place in the literary canon.  That being said, I believe it is also true for the development of a contemplative life.  At least for me, as an unapologetic introvert, I know that I must have a place where I can be alone with myself and in doing so perhaps also recognize and deepen the experience of being with God.  I know that God is always with me but it is far too easy to ignore that inner experience which I have come to identify with God.

I may have written in this space about my experience of growing up as an introvert in what seemed to be an extroverted world.  I hope you will forgive me if I am repeating myself.  As a child I found that I needed a small corner where I could hide out from a world that didn’t seem to be all that friendly to me.  It was my “small corner” following the lines from that children’s “Jesus Bids Us Shine”:

Jesus bids us shine with a clear, pure light,
Like a little candle burning in the night;
In this world of darkness, so we must shine,
You in your small corner, and I in mine.

This was not just a case of an introvert needing space to recharge his batteries and renew himself, it was a case of a place of safety from an unfriendly world.  I found the world and people hard to figure out and it was a challenge to engage with people.  As a grew older and possibly a bit wiser, I found it a challenge to differentiate between my need as an introvert to recharge my inner batteries and my desire to find a safe place which was truly not as necessary as in those childhood years.  Those defense mechanisms that we develop as children for survival can be retained even when they are no longer necessary as adults. 

I realize that I need to be aware when I retreat into my small corner to recharge my inner batteries rather than to escape from a world that is actually not actually unsafe.  I have discovered and continue to discover that my small corner is where I can recharge and strengthen my relationship with God.  If I can do this, I am much more likely to let my little light shine in the world.  This does not seem to be true for everyone as some people seem to find the room of their own to be in many different kinds of places.  It may be in nature or in encounters with other people and even, dare I say it, worshiping as part of a religious community.  I certainly have had experiences of connections with God in other places, including church.  That is part of the pulled to ordination.  However, to ground myself in my relationship with God I do need a room of my own.

May you find the room of your own in whatever form it takes and may you find blessings on your journey.

Exploring the Tapestry of the Mind, Body, and Spirit

This point in my life is one that I am enjoying more than I ever have.  I am fortunate and blessed to spend my summers—actually stretching summer from the beginning of June to the beginning of October—at our cottage in Prince Edward Island.  It is a time and place which are Thin Experiences where the separation of heaven and earth are less well defined than at other times and in other places.

I have had the wonderful experience this summer listening to the tapestry of the archives of Tapestry.  I have always been a fan of the show and particularly enjoy Mary Hines’ discerning and thoughtful interview style.  The depth and breadth of the topics and individuals who are presented on the show provide me with food for my spirit and soul.  Part of the affinity I feel for Mary Hines is one introvert connecting to another.  As she revealed in one of the programs I listened to recently, Mary is an unapologetic introvert. as am I, who revealed her dream is to live in a light house away from the world.  Now I can’t say that I have had that specific dream either in waking life or while asleep. However, I can certainly appreciate her desire.  I have thought that being sentenced to house arrest would be no punishment for someone like me, and perhaps other strong introverts, as it is there that I am at home—not where I live specifically but where I am truly at home.

Tapestry—the program not the spiritual place—is one of the wonders of this life where I can explore the different subject that speak to me in ways that I find make my life more meaningful and make me more the person that God intends me to be. 

In my marathon of Tapestry programs I noticed a number of connections which I would like to share with you.  There were a couple of programs that connected with my understanding of the unconscious forces that are part of the human condition.  Without going into detail the unconscious, as first identified by Sigmund Freud and expanded on by Carl Jung, is that aspect of the psyche that is not readily available to our conscious life.  The energies will most frequently make themselves known to us in our dreams but also in other phenomenon such as waking visions and synchronistic experiences (meaningful coincidences). 

The unconscious forces in people were a connection in the programs ‘Hearing Voices’, and ‘Psychologist Anthony Bossis: Can psychedelic drugs help ease the fear of death’. 

In Hearing Voices, I was struck by the approach taken in the treatment in which the idea of asking the “good voices” for aid the advice for her to “stand up to the bad voices” was presented as an important part of the treatment.  In my understanding the voices which are experienced by people come from the same source as dreams and other such experiences of the psyche.  The idea getting for help from the inner energy is the essence of the individuation process identified by Jung.  In addition standing up to images in nightmares and facing them is a very successful technique in dream work.  The classic way to deal with monsters in our dreams is rather than running from them is to turn around and ask them what they want.  In effect we befriend the energy which is being presented to us.  The maxim that all dreams come in the service of health and wholeness of the dreamer is important in working with dreams.

This approach applies to the experience of people who are participating in the experiment using psilocybin to deal with their fear of their imminent death.  As noted in the New Yorker Magazine article:

The “same force that takes you deep within will, of its own impetus, return you safely to the everyday world,” the manual offers at one point. Guides are instructed to remind subjects that they’ll never be left alone and not to worry about their bodies while journeying, since the guides will keep an eye on them. If you feel like you’re “dying, melting, dissolving, exploding, going crazy etc.—go ahead,” embrace it: “Climb staircases, open doors, explore paths, fly over landscapes.” And if you confront anything frightening, “look the monster in the eye and move towards it. . . . Dig in your heels; ask, ‘What are you doing in my mind?’ Or, ‘What can I learn from you?’ Look for the darkest corner in the basement, and shine your light there.” This training may help explain why the darker experiences that sometimes accompany the recreational use of psychedelics have not surfaced in the N.Y.U. and Hopkins trials.[1]

I embrace the invitation to “Looking the darkest corner in the basement, and shine your light there.” It is very much in line with one of the first steps in dream work which is to engage the shadow.  These are the parts of your psyche—yourself which you do not want to recognize and are often not even aware are part of you.  They lurk in the darkest corners of your psychic basement.  However, as with the other aspects and images that appear in your dreams and in your projections, you need to be in relationship with you and discover what you can learn from them.

It is wonderful to hear about the work that in going on in different areas of our culture that will help people to become more fully the people that God or whatever is your higher power intends you to be.

Thank you for bring such inspiring people with wonderful lives and work to all of us. 

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[1] New Yorker The Trip Treatment Research into psychedelics, shut down for decades, is now yielding exciting results. By Michael Pollan