Forgive: Easier Said than Done

The Gospel reading appointed for last Sunday was Luke 6: 27-38.  This is in part, the beatitudes i.e. a list of things that Jesus tells us we need to be and do if we are to be blessed and follow him.  These include many things which are a challenge to us such as loving your enemies which I wrote about last week.  In addition to this, the beatitudes include the command that we should forgive, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” 

The sermon, which was preached by the rector of our parish, Rev. Karen Nelles, addressed the challenges of true forgiveness.  She noted that the things which are done to us and which we need to forgive sometimes leave deep scars on our hearts.   To truly forgive such hurts may take many years.  I believe that one of the mistakes of the church is that it has made forgiveness sound too easy.  In effect all you have to do is decide that you forgive and say that you forgive and forgiveness has happened.  In my experience and, I believe in reality, true forgiveness does take time and effort.

For forgiveness to occur in the heart, which is where the hurt you have experienced resides, it takes more than just saying the words and even thinking that you forgive.  Often, we will say we forgive someone because we believe it is what is expected of us as Christians or just as a good person.  However, the hurt remains as healing has not occurred.  One way to determine if true forgiveness has occurred is whether or not the memories of the events or actions that lead to the hurt arise spontaneously at times when you are not expecting.  Something may trigger them in your waking hours or, more often, they will appear in the middle of the night when you are truly at you are least guarded by your self-image of a being a good person who, of course, will forgive those who have wronged you.

This does take work, inner work to actually accept others as well as yourself as imperfect.  The Gospel reading which we are using for this coming Sunday, Luke 6:39-49, is helpful in how to get to a place of true forgiveness.  The passage speaks of seeing the speck in your neighbour’s eye and not the log in your own:

Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye”, when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.

I am not suggesting that the hurt that needs to be forgiven is a mere speck.  However, not many of us have hearts that are so pure that we do have the possibility of doing unto other what has been done to us and caused us pain.  It is comforting to think that I would never to the terrible thing that was done to me.  However, it the dark places of our hearts we will likely find that log that we would love to beat over the head of some someone else if the circumstances are right.  This recognition can go a long way in the journey to true forgiveness which Jesus commands us to take. 

Blessings on that journey.