True Forgiveness

 I have just finished rereading, The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Henri Nouwen.  This is a wonderful exploration of Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son which recounts Nouwen’s engagement with Rembrandt’s masterpiece which depicts the homecoming of the Prodigal son.

I will reflect on the book in total another time.  Right now, I want to consider the concept of forgiveness which Nouwen explores in the book.  Nouwen recounts his journey which was initiated by the encounter with the painting. On that journey, Nouwen identified with each of the three principal characters in the parable – the prodigal son, the elder brother, and the father.   In his identification with the father in the parable, Nouwen explores the idea of spiritual fatherhood.  For Nouwen, the key to this is forgiveness.  However, he acknowledges that “Forgiveness from the heart is very, very difficult.  It is next to impossible.”  However, as he states this is one of the commandments that Jesus gives to his followers, “When your brother wrongs you seven times a day and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I am sorry, you must forgive him.”

Nouwen does unpack just how difficult true forgiveness:

I have often said, “I forgive you”, but even as I said these words, my heart remained angry or resentful.  I still wanted to hear the story that tells me that I was right after all; I still wanted to hear apologies and excuses; I still wanted the satisfaction of receiving some praise in return – if only the praise of being so forgiving.

Unfortunately, these words ring true in my ears.  I have found that true forgiveness is not a matter of saying the words.  It is a matter of the heart.  Unfortunately, I believe that, in my experience, the church has not done justice to what true forgiveness is.  It encourages forgiveness in Christian; however, it does not acknowledge how difficult true forgiveness is.  It doesn’t acknowledge that talk is cheap.  True forgiveness does not come easily or without cost – at least for most of us.  True forgiveness is a journey which will require an exploration of the heart, as well as the mind, soul, emotions and the body. 

You are able to tell if you have been blessed with the gift of true forgiveness if you no longer wake up in the middle of the night filled with the thought of how badly someone has treated you; how unfairly you have been treated by that person; and yes, how deep in your heart – or elsewhere – you truly want revenge for what that person has done.  If you no longer are haunted by that ghost visitor, it is likely that you have been blessed by true forgiveness. 

I believe that true forgiveness is a gift from God, and we are blessed if we have received it.  However, even though it is freely given, it is not without cost.  It is the cost of exploring who you truly are and the revelation of some truths about yourself that may not be welcome.  However, as with all that God blesses you with, it is truly a blessing.

May be blessed to find true forgiveness on your journey.  

Breaking the Chains of the Past

Happy New Year!  The new year is a time to both look back and look ahead.  That raises the question of how we can do both these things in ways that can help us live lives that reflect our better selves.  As with most things, looking back and looking ahead can be both positive and negative.  We can look back and see what we have done which is helpful for us and for others.  We can also look ahead and see possibilities that hold the promise of the same.

Looking back at the past year and even further can enable us to learn from our mistakes and failures.  Looking ahead, we can make those New Year’s resolutions about how we hope and even pray we can live differently and better.  If you are able to do these things, more power to you.  However, it seems to me that these are honoured more in the breach than in the observance. 

The challenge that new year can bring brought into focus for me by the sermon preached by Rev. Sherry DeJonge yesterday at my home parish of St. John the Evangelist Anglican, Strathroy.  The sermon drew on the bible passage Luke 9: 62, “Jesus said to him, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.’”  It struck me that there can be something positive in looking back to see if you are ploughing a straight furrow.  However, I believe that Jesus was making the point that we cannot dwell on the past, we have to look ahead or we won’t get where we want to go, which for Jesus and Christians’, is summed up in the Kingdom of God. 

That brought to mind a definition of sin that I heard many years ago – unfortunately, I don’t remember the source and Google didn’t help in locating it.  As I recall, sin was defined as, ’those things which chain us to the past.’  For me, that sums up the message from Luke.  If we look behind us, we won’t reach the Kingdom - whatever Kingdom you are hoping and praying for.  Those things which chain you to the past can keep you imprisoned and prevent you from living a full life that we are intended to live.  These are the things – the events in our lives that haunt us at 4:00 in the morning – the regrets and what we did and didn’t do; the anger at what was done to us; the lost opportunities and wrong decisions.  These all seem to outweigh the positive things that we have done and accomplishment in our lives and right decisions we made.  Those are the things which are the ghosts that visit me in the early hours.  I am on a first name basis with many of these old frenemies. 

These are the chains which hold us back and enslave us.  I found this quote on-line which expresses it well:

Things in the past can enslave us. Mistakes we have made, experiences we cannot forget, things that have been done to us. Bitterness and disappointment can consume our thinking, robbing us of joy and hope. Images burned into our consciousness, like pornography or sexual perversion, can cause us to relapse into patterns of sin. Anger over the harm others have done to us can overcome us in quiet moments, long after the events have passed. We can find ourselves trapped by the past, unable to find the freedom we desperately need. We become blocked from the life we want to have, the life that Jesus means for us to have: The abundant life in Him. https://www.onesteadfast.com/Blog/ScriptureStudy/Chains-of-the-Past.

Breaking those chains is not something that is easily accomplished.  It takes work to begin to saw through those chains a bit at a time.  This journey being with the first step in acknowledging that we can’t change what is past so these is no use dwelling in it.  However, we have to acknowledge that life is not perfect and neither are we.  We are going to make mistakes and mistakes are going to be made to us.  The key is in forgiveness.  This is the great gift of Jesus – he showed us by word and deed that forgiveness is possible.  If he could ask his heavenly Father to forgive those who were executing him so cruelly, then it is possible, not easy but possible, to forgive others and, yes even forgive ourselves.  That is the mystery of love which was born at Christmas.

Blessing on your journey in 2024.  May you forgive and be forgiven. 

Walking With Jesus

I was particularly moved by two articles in Saturday’s Globe and Mail.  They both caught my attention as examples of what faith can do to and for people.  One was, for me, a wonderful example of what it means to walk with Jesus as a model in your life.  The other was, in my view, an example of how people can be led astray by misplaced faith and what happens when you ignore the teachings of Jesus. 

 

The first article was an obituary for Clifford Raymond Derksen.  Mr. Derksen was a man whose actions stood out to redeem a tragedy and turned it into an example of what it means to be Christ-like.  Mr. Dirksen’s daughter, Candace, was murdered by an unknown person in 1984.  Two days after Candace’s body was found, Clifford Derksen, with his wife, Wilma at his side, held a press conference in which he expressed forgiveness and compassion for the unknown person who had murdered their daughter.  

 

Unfortunately, this action, based on their understanding of the example of Jesus Christ who forgave those who crucified him, was not met with approval and support.  It was met with suspicion and disbelief.  Clifford Derksen did not fit the model of the grieving father and he was subjected to other people’s suspicion of his actions, which lingered despite proof that he could not be the perpetrator of the horrible crime. 

  

This example of forgiveness is, unfortunately, unimaginable for most people.  I have serious doubts that I could follow the example of Clifford Derksen.  However, as the article notes quoting writer Malcolm Gladwell: 

It's inconceivable that you could forgive in that circumstance until you meet someone who’s done it.  So, when you meet someone like that, and you understand that these kinds of inconceivable things can be done by ordinary people, that expands your universe.   

Clifford Derksen’s ability to forgive was no easy thing.  It was founded in a life which drew on his religious faith as a Mennonite, developing strategies for dealing with his challenges that included memorizing large portions of the Bible.  As Dirksen noted,” The thing about forgiveness is you have to go to hard places.  You have to be ready to be courageous… I didn’t do this overnight.”   

The second article, by Ian Brown, was a follow-up with people involved with the Trucker Convoy, which occupied Ottawa for three weeks earlier this year.  One of the people interviewed had a firm belief that, as the article stated, “the convoy wasn’t just organized, it was ordained. An Almighty presence was there all along.”   

The Trucker Convoy, in my view, seemed to be a conglomerate of many different groups and individuals protesting many things which included anti-government action and inaction, conspiracy theorists, and libertarian beliefs.  However, it came down to two basic things as the article points out: first, the end to all pandemic restrictions and second, the dissolution of the Federal Government.  I

However, I believe that the majority of people were there to protest mask and vaccine mandates as an infringement on their freedoms, not to dissolve the government.   

Luke Kendze, one of the subjects of the article, said that the Convoy was ordained by God. I disagree with this assertion.  He based this on the facts that all their needs were almost miraculously supplied and everything appeared like manna from heaven (my categorization).  In addition, there were no fatalities during the trip to Ottawa. As Kendze stated, “We should have had a fatality along the way…Bit it was unbelievable, a divine movement, by design, not by accident.” 

 This conclusion is flawed in my assessment.  Kendze, a Christian, cannot base his anti-mask and anti- vaccine position, on a divine foundation.  Jesus’s great commandment was to love one another.   If you believe that your actions are Christian when they put yourself and others at risk in the middle of a pandemic, which killed may millions of people world-wide, that is not following Jesus Christ.  It is mistaken that he concluded that what happened was proof that God had ordained his actions and those of the thousands of people who descended on Ottawa and deprived its residents of their freedoms.    

 There was support for the actions of the Trucker Convoy, but it was support based on populism and not from a divine source.  I realize that my attitude towards the people in the Convoy is unforgiving and I do wish I was able to be more like that of Jesus and Clifford Derksen in this but I am not there yet. 

I hope and pray that we may find forgiveness for ourselves and others on our journey. 

 

Making the Crooked Paths Straight

 O God of Compassion,

I cannot undo the past, or make it never have happened!
— neither can You. There are some things that are not possible even for You
— but not many!

I ask you, humbly, and from the bottom of my heart;
Please, God, would You write straight with my crooked lines?
Out of the serious mistakes of my life will You make something beautiful for you?

Teach me to live at peace with You, and make peace with others and even with myself.

Give me fresh vision. Let me experience your love so deeply that I am free to
face the future with a steady eye, forgiven, and strong in hope.

I came across this prayer a few weeks ago – unfortunately I didn’t note the source.[1]   It resonated with me because it addressed the experience I have which I call the “ghosts” that sometimes haunt me in the witching hours of the night.  The ghosts are memories which arrive unsought and unasked for.  In religious language they are the things I have done which I ought not to have done and the things I have not done, I ought to have done.  I could go on with there being no health in me but I won’t go that far – at least this morning.   At base they are regrets which I wish I could change but as this prayer states, I cannot undo the past, or make it never have happened!  

Even God can’t or perhaps it might be better to say won’t – I truly don’t know which.  But I do know what is possible is forgiveness.  It is possible through God in Jesus Christ to forgive – forgive myself and others for all those things in life that I regret happened.  Those ghosts are actually given by God to let me know that forgiveness for these things is not complete.  The crooked path has not yet been made straight.  Forgiveness – true forgiveness does not come easily to me and I expect it does not come easily in most cases.    However, it is a gift from God that those ghosts come to let me know that the process of forgiveness is not yet complete.  I had not originally planned to write about those ghosts on All Saints Day after a traditional night in which the ghosts and goblins roamed so freely but perhaps, I can see God’s hand in that.

May you be blessed to have reconcile with your ghosts on your journey. 

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[1] One of my biggest and closest fans informed me that it is a prayer by Ignatius of Loyola 

 

Forgive: Easier Said than Done

The Gospel reading appointed for last Sunday was Luke 6: 27-38.  This is in part, the beatitudes i.e. a list of things that Jesus tells us we need to be and do if we are to be blessed and follow him.  These include many things which are a challenge to us such as loving your enemies which I wrote about last week.  In addition to this, the beatitudes include the command that we should forgive, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” 

The sermon, which was preached by the rector of our parish, Rev. Karen Nelles, addressed the challenges of true forgiveness.  She noted that the things which are done to us and which we need to forgive sometimes leave deep scars on our hearts.   To truly forgive such hurts may take many years.  I believe that one of the mistakes of the church is that it has made forgiveness sound too easy.  In effect all you have to do is decide that you forgive and say that you forgive and forgiveness has happened.  In my experience and, I believe in reality, true forgiveness does take time and effort.

For forgiveness to occur in the heart, which is where the hurt you have experienced resides, it takes more than just saying the words and even thinking that you forgive.  Often, we will say we forgive someone because we believe it is what is expected of us as Christians or just as a good person.  However, the hurt remains as healing has not occurred.  One way to determine if true forgiveness has occurred is whether or not the memories of the events or actions that lead to the hurt arise spontaneously at times when you are not expecting.  Something may trigger them in your waking hours or, more often, they will appear in the middle of the night when you are truly at you are least guarded by your self-image of a being a good person who, of course, will forgive those who have wronged you.

This does take work, inner work to actually accept others as well as yourself as imperfect.  The Gospel reading which we are using for this coming Sunday, Luke 6:39-49, is helpful in how to get to a place of true forgiveness.  The passage speaks of seeing the speck in your neighbour’s eye and not the log in your own:

Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye”, when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.

I am not suggesting that the hurt that needs to be forgiven is a mere speck.  However, not many of us have hearts that are so pure that we do have the possibility of doing unto other what has been done to us and caused us pain.  It is comforting to think that I would never to the terrible thing that was done to me.  However, it the dark places of our hearts we will likely find that log that we would love to beat over the head of some someone else if the circumstances are right.  This recognition can go a long way in the journey to true forgiveness which Jesus commands us to take. 

Blessings on that journey.

The Forgiveness Challenge

The Globe and Mail this past Saturday published an opinion piece entitled Forgiveness is for Suckers.  A link to the article is https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-todays-forgiveness-culture-is-for-suckers/.  The article draws on the parable of the Prodigal Son to support the author’s position that forgiveness is a scam.  The closing sentence of the article states “Maybe the real message of the Prodigal Son story us that the pride of the show-off forgiver will always be served first.”  I am not sure in the authors mind whether the ‘forgiver’ is the Prodigal son who is forgiven or the father who does the forgiving.  It definitely isn’t the older brother.   

The article has many arguments and a conclusion that I disagree with whole heartedly.  First, the author RM Vaughan, does not appear to have read the actual parable or, if the author has, is deliberately blind to what it actually says.  He begins by stating the older brother stays home to look after this aging father.  There is nothing in the parable to suggest the father is old with the implication that perhaps he is going senile.  After all who would forgive the young foolish son except someone who is losing his mental faculties.  Indeed, the parable tells that, “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”  Not the action of an elderly incapacitated man.  The author is very much on the side of the older son saying he, “never got so much as the occasional goat to slaughter.”  He could have added not even a goat much less ‘the fatted calf’ which the father did to celebrate the return of the son who was lost to him. 

The author leaves out the poignant reply by the father, “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”  I read into this that the older son could have had a goat for a celebration if he had wanted one.  But perhaps he was too proud and had a bit of a martyr complex. However, that may be reading too much into the story.  Vaughan’s position is that the prodigal son got away with it.  He got his inheritance early and spent it on wine, woman and song and when he ran out of money he sobered up, picked himself up and gaily returned home to reclaim his previous life.  The father was a fool and worse to just blindly forgive the wastrel son.  However, as Jesus (the author of the story) tells us, the younger son repented, “I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.”  He does just this when he is greeted by his father saying, “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’” 

There can be several ways of looking at this.  First, the father forgave the son regardless of his repentance.  The second way is that the father recognized that the son had repented by the very act of returning home.  Finally, the cynic could say that the prodigal son did this just as a ploy knowing his father would take him back and restore him to his old life if he showed repentance.  In any case, the father in the parable, who can represent our heavenly father, is forgiving when his son repents and turns around from his sinful ways.  This is very true for us as well. 

In my assessment of the essay, the author is, unfortunately viewing the issue of forgiveness through a lens that does not see the possibility of true forgiveness.  Vaughan see certain acts of coverup as forgiveness putting the sins of the Roman Catholic Church of moving pedophile priest to different parishes as acts of forgiveness rather than a way of protecting the institution which was more important that the protection of the members of the flock.  Vaughan makes the point that forgiveness is held up as a matter of simplistic shrug-it-off formulas and “by its very nature, forgiveness is an act of denial.”

I must agree with Vaughan that the church has made forgiveness seem to be an easy thing.  As Christians we are commanded to follow Christs example and forgive.  By implication all we have to do is the say the magic phrase, “I forgive”, and all is well; we forgive and forget.  As a result, this idea of easy forgiveness has entered our culture.  Forgiveness does not involve forgetting.  True forgiving does not come easily and will likely involve a lot of hard work which will move forward in fits and start.  However, the moving forward will free us from being held hostage by the events that we have experienced.

Vaughan makes the final point by quoting someone who sates that “There is nothing in the bible that says that forgiveness is good for the physical or mental health”.  That is probably true, but it is true that it is necessary for sour souls.  If we are unable to forgive we will have barriers to living fully in relationship with God.  We will be filled with anger and possibly hatred which is not a recipe for loving our neighbours much less our enemies.  If we do not forgive we will have a lens through which we will have a distorted view the world just as Vaughan perceived the Prodigal Son parable.

Blessings on you journey.

Caught in Sin

I have been reading and rereading an excellent essay by Dr. Timothy Keller on Forgiveness and Reconciliation.  It was brought to my attention by Lorna and can be found at http://www.thrivingpastor.com/serving-each-other-through-forgiveness-and-reconciliation/index.html.  It is the best exploration I have read on these topics. 

There is much in this essay I would like to reflect on in the coming weeks but today I would like to focus on one phrase that Keller explores, ‘caught in sin’.   In his exploration of forgiveness Keller looks at Galatians 6:1 “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”   When you first read this you may understand this statement of St. Paul to mean a gotcha, you have been watching the behaviour of someone and caught him or her in a sin or what you consider a sin.  Perhaps you were hoping that you would be able to catch that person in some misstep or mistake and be able to condemn them as a sinner and lord it over them. 

On reflection you will probably realize quite quickly that this is not the way that St. Paul approaches others.  Although he can be quite critical of the behaviour of others, as in his epistles to the church in Corinth, he is not out to lord it over others.  Indeed he is very quick to condemn himself; as Keller notes, “When Paul says he is the worst among sinners (1 Tim. 1:15), he is not exaggerating. He is saying that he is as capable of sin as the worst criminals are. The gospel has equipped him with emotional humility.”  Keller clarifies that this is “the image is of being trapped in a pattern of behavior that will be harmful to the person and to others.”

Being caught in a pattern of behaviour is putting into sound psychological language what a person may be doing with their life.  There is a danger of psychologizing behaviour these days and not treating the behaviour as sinful i.e. being out of relationship with God and not living the life God intends for us.  However, two thousand years ago Paul addressed a human condition that people struggle with just as much today as when Paul wrote to the church in Galatia. 

Being caught in sin has the essence of what people struggle with in their lives.  It can encompass both conscious and unconscious behaviour (to use more psychological language).  We can be caught in an addiction which of beyond our ability to control by our willpower.  It can also encompass decision we make because of the desire to be in control or to win in a situation which happens when our egos run our lives. 

In all these cases, whether knowingly or unknowingly; whether these things that we do are done consciously or unconsciously, willingly or unwillingly, we are in a sinful state.  As it says in the confession in the Book of Common Prayer, “We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done”.  I have deliberately left out the next phrase, "And there is no health in us," because that raises a whole different can of worms that I don't want to address at this time.

Often there is a moral judgement which is made in the context of sin and declaring that someone has sinned.  However, that is the beauty of the phrase ‘caught in sin’.  It puts the emphasis on being in a state of sin and not in the act.  We are caught in a condition or circumstance that leads us to be and do something God does not want for us.  We are called to amend our foolish ways and to repent i.e. turn around and aim once more at living the lives God calls us to.  The wonderful thing is that we are offered and assured of God’s forgiveness. 

Thanks be to God. 

Grace and Mercy

Sunday I was doing something I usually don’t do; nothing radical or heretical.  Rather than preaching on the epistle or Gospel appointed for the day, I based my sermon on the collect. We were celebrating the 11^th Sunday after Trinity and the collect for the day addressed the themes of grace and mercy.  I believe that these concepts are important so I want to reiterate and expand a bit on my sermon.  Not because anything I said is radical or new but grace and mercy is key to our relationship with God and each other.  For those of you who do not follow the Anglican Book of Common Prayer, here is the collect:

O God, who declarest thy almighty power most chiefly in showing mercy and pity: Mercifully grant unto us such a measure of thy grace, that we, running the way of thy commandments, may obtain thy gracious promises, and be made partakers of thy heavenly treasure; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

 As I noted in my sermon there is much to unpack in that short prayer.  First, let’s look at what grace and mercy mean.  One simple way of looking at them is that grace is receiving what we do not deserve.  Mercy is, you could say the opposite, not receiving what we deserve.   This is not original to me, I heard it some years ago and I’m sure it has been around longer than that. 

That needs some clarification.  When I say “deserve”, I mean they are not something which we earn or is based on our efforts or actions either good or bad.  Grace and mercy are offered to us by God unconditionally because we are God’s children and they are expressions of God’s love for us.  Growing up in the fifties and sixties there was a lot in the ether and culture about unconditional love.  It was something that everyone was supposed to desire in their heart of hearts.  It, unfortunately, became something of a cliché in part because I believe people realized it seemed to be impossible.  It is unfortunate because I believe it is true.  We do desire it; we want to be accepted and loved for who we truly are and not on the basis of having to earn it.

It is indeed hard to truly believe in our heart of hearts—or I could say souls—that we can be loved unconditionally.  Our experience does not generally support this idea.  We believe that we need to earn the love of others.  As I write this a song came up on the media player on my computer (which is set on shuffle).  The song is “Outrageous” by Paul Simon.  The chorus is, “who’s going to love you when your looks are gone”?   After that chorus is repeated a number of times the answer is, “God will”; thank you Paul and thank you synchronicity.  That is exactly the message and meaning of grace and mercy.  God does love us unconditionally no matter if our looks are gone or what kind of a life we live. 

That does not mean we have a free pass.  It does not mean that it doesn’t matter to God what kind of a life we live.  Grace and mercy are freely offered but it is up to us to accept them.  We need to be in relationship with God.  Often our lives can be out of relationship with God.  The grace of God is freely offered.  This is the love of God.  There are many things in our lives which prevent us from being open to the love of God and sharing it with others; past experience of being hurt by others and receiving conditional love to name a two.  We learn to put up walls to protect ourselves and those walls can seem to be almost impenetrable.   

That is where God’s mercy comes in (thank God).  God' mercy is also offered unconditionally as it is also God’s love in action.  When we are not in relationship with God we are in a state of sin.  However, God’s mercy offers us forgiveness.  We can come to God and seek to re-establish our relationship with God; it is two sided—God and each of us.  We have the assurance of God’s forgiveness when we do that.  As I noted in the sermon, we have the mercy that is offered to us in the confession and absolution in both the Book of Common Prayer and the Book of Alternative Services.  We confess that we have not lived as God has intended us to live.  We are in a state of sin.  We ask for God’s forgiveness and God’s forgiveness is granted to us in the absolution.  Again this is freely offered to us—it is ours for the asking. 

If we were to truly believe in our hearts and souls that we are unconditionally loved by God think how different our lives and the world would be.  It is hard to imagine but it is worthwhile imagining it.  That is the first step to living it.  I will close with a quote from Richard Rohr’s Daily Mediation (more synchronicity) for today which speaks of the mystery of forgiveness and the possibility of an infinite ocean of grace: 

The Spirit within us creates an unrelenting desire toward forgiveness and reconciliation. The entire Gospel reveals the unfolding mystery of forgiveness; it is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the Gospel’s transformative message. The energy of being forgiven—in our unworthiness of it—first breaks us out of our merit-badge mentality. The ongoing experience of being forgiven (when we don’t even think we need it) is necessary to renew our flagging spirit and keep us in the infinite ocean of grace. Toward the end of life a universal forgiveness of everything for being what it is becomes the only way we can see and understand reality and finally live at peace. 

Blessings and love on your journey.

Father Forgive Them

One of defining moments of Christianity is when Jesus is hanging on the Cross and in his death-throws he makes a plea to his Heavenly Father to forgive those who are executing him in this most terrible way, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing”.  That is the where the rubber hits the road for Christians.

The challenge for us to forgive others has not been treated seriously enough by organized religion or society.  You can see this in the way children are told to, “say your sorry” by their parents even though they do not feel sorry in the least.  The church says that we should forgive and so we should.  But how does forgiveness actually happen?  We can decide we will forgive because after all it is the Christian thing to do.  So, we can tell the offending parry (perhaps through gritted teeth), “I forgive you”.  You might actually believe that you have forgiven the other person.   You may actually convince your self that, at that moment in any case, you do believe you have forgiven them.  However, in my experience and understanding, true forgiveness does not come that easily. 

Forgiveness is a process which can and probably will take many years and have many set backs.  You will find that you have made a conscious decision to forgive but then the memory of the experience which requires forgiveness and the associated emotions such as anger and fear and desire for justice and even vengeance will overwhelm you.  When these things occur, it is a sign that true forgiveness has not occurred. 

There was an excellent article in the Glove and Mail, appropriately on Saturday of Easter weekend, that addresses many of the issues and misconceptions around forgiveness.  The article, entitled A Radical Grief, explores the journey of two people whose daughter had been murdered.  They made a conscious decision to forgive the murderer even though they did not know the person’s identity for many years.   They made this decision, in part, because, shortly after the crime became public knowledge, they were visited by someone who had experience a similar tragedy.  He warned them that his life had been destroyed because he was not able to forgive the person who had murdered his child.  

The article is valuable because it illustrates a number of lessons that we need to learn.  The first one for me is not directly about forgiveness but it is related.  The article is an illustration about an important way of understanding sin.  Sin is those things which ‘chain us to the past’.  I do not remember the source of this idea.  However, it is an important one for me.  If we allow events and circumstances in our lives to prevent us from living the lives God intends us to lead we are in a sinful state.  If my anger and hatred of someone consumes me fully or even partially we can not be open to receiving God’s love and share that love with the world.  We are indeed chained to the past.  There are many other ways of understanding sin but this is an important one.

Another lesson from this article is that it is not necessary for someone to ask for forgiveness to be give forgiven.  In the article the parents did not even know who the murderer of their daughter was.  However, they made a conscious decision to forgive them.  There is a common belief someone should not be forgiven useless they repent of their actions and seek forgiveness.  This can help the process.  However, it is not necessary.  The act of Forgiveness is as much for the salvation of the person who forgives as it is for the one forgiven.

Finally, forgiveness is a journey which can take a long time.  It doesn’t come easily and quickly in many cases.  They couple in the article explained the difficulty of forgiving the perpetrator.  At times over the years they were overwhelmed with anger and the desire for vengeance.  However, they continued on their journey of and to forgiveness. 

Their case was particularly poignant.  For many years they did not know the identity of the perpetrator.  When the identity was discovered through DNA evidence, they had the trial of sitting through the trial of the accused.  He was found guilty.  However, a new trial was ordered on appeal and at this time the outcome of the second trial is unclear.  The mother is quoted in the article, “I want to live,” she said.  “If we had waited for justice 32 years ago, can you imagine where we’d be?  We would have just put our whole lives on the shelf.” 

Love is the only thing that can defeat hate.  Blessings on you journey. 

Sermon June 19, 2016 Fourth Sunday after Trinity

The Gospel certainly puts it on the line.  Jesus tells us in no uncertain term what we are required to do if we are going to be his disciples and follow him.  Now you might say, “I never signed up to be one of his disciples; I only want to be a Christian.”  Well, unfortunately or rather fortunately for us, it is the same thing.    If Jesus is the one who we claim as our saviour and redeemer; the one who died for our sins, then were are called to follow him and follow him teachings.  That is what a Christian promises to do.

So let’s look at what he is calling us to do and be.  It is quite a list that he lays out: be merciful to others, do not judge others, do not condemn others, forgive others, give to others.  There is more of course but let’s leave it at that—at least for this Sunday.

Jesus is asking a lot of us.  However, perhaps these things are within the realm of possibility.  Let’s look at them more closely as see what is really required. 

Be merciful.  Well that’s not too hard.  I think I can certainly show mercy to others.  I’m a good guy and I like to think that I show mercy when it is necessary.  In fact I give quite a bit of money to charity; I tithe-giving a tenth of my income—more or less.  Isn’t that showing mercy?     Well I’m afraid that doesn’t quite do it.  Do I really show mercy to someone who had wronged me?  If I have the chance to seek revenge—I hope not in really serious ways—do I do it?  A little righteous anger and just deserts is actually good for someone isn’t it.  After all it teaches them a lesson doesn’t it.  Well it may do that but it’s not mercy.

Do not judge others.  Well, that’s some order.  How can I encounter someone and not judge them?  After all, some people act in ways that I don’t approve of.  Realistically there are some people who act in bad ways, in despicable ways like that politician in the United Sates.  Does Jesus really expect me not to judge them?  So what if it say elsewhere ‘judge not lest you be judged’ it is inevitable that we will judge people—isn’t it?

Do not condemn others.  Well to be truthful there are lots of people that deserve condemnation.  It follows from judging those people who don’t meet my standards regarding the way I believe people should live.  They get judged by me and then I, at least figuratively condemn them to the outer darkness of people who are not worthy of my mercy or love.

Forgiveness; well that’s one I have a pretty good handle on.  I forgive people quite easily.  After all I want people to think well of me and probably wouldn’t if I carried a grudge.  But actually if I am honest I can say that I forgive someone but the things they have done to me still annoy and bug me and even make me angry a long time later.  I guess if I have that reaction I haven’t really forgiven them.

Give to others; well as I said already I do really well on that one anyway.  I give generously to charity—I tithe as we are told we should to be a good Christian.  Well, I must admit I give to selected ones.  I give to the deserving charities that help deserving people.  If I am asked on the street for a handout I immediately assess the person.  Is she really in need?    Is he trying to rip me off? Will he just go and spend the money I give him on cheap wine?  I really wish Jesus had said give to those who deserve it.  But he didn’t.

So Jesus does seem to be telling us to do things that are really hard.  It does put us in a bad position if we want to follow him doesn’t it?  Surely this passage must be taken out of context or perhaps it is a mistranslation or perhaps Jesus didn’t mean it the way we understand it.  After all he did say “my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.  Anyway, he didn’t always practice what he is preaching here.  He did throw the money changers out of the temple.  He certainly judged the scribes and the Pharisees and others who were deserved to be judged.  So what can we make of this?

Perhaps he was saying that these are things we should strive to do and how we should attempt to be, knowing that we will not always or even often succeed?  But then he says a bit later, “everyone that is perfect shall be as his master.”  How can Jesus expect us do all these things that he commands and do them perfectly.  Perfection is certainly something that I know I will achieve.  I have tried to be realistic and to acknowledge to myself that I can never be.  Indeed, I don’t believe that Jesus intends us to be perfect—at least the way we understand it.   

There is a different way of looking at perfection than how we usually look at it.  We believe that to be perfect is to be without a flaw and to never make a mistake.  Augustine the great church father and saint stated, that not only that man is properly termed perfect and without blemish who is already perfect, but also he who strives unreservedly after perfection.  So we can be on the road to perfection.  We can be making an effort to be perfect.  This is helpful in others time that Jesus tells us this such as in Matthew chapter 5: 48, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” 

That may help but I know that I will never be perfect.  I also believe that it can be harmful for people to strive for perfection. It will often not allow them to acknowledge how they are and that we are all sinner who have been redeemed by Jesus.  If you try to be perfect you are going to fail but you will have even more trouble acknowledging those aspects of yourself that don’t live up to the standard of perfection.  

I noted that the word perfection may have a different meaning than we normally understand.  Another way of understanding the original meaning of what Jesus means by perfection is all-embracing.  This is used in a translation of Aramaic which was the native language of Jesus.    So the translation of Matthew would be “Be all-embracing, as your heavenly Father is all-embracing.” 

This understanding certainly puts Jesus’s commands into a different light.  If we are to embrace God’s world and the people in it with mercy, forgiveness and charity that is something which I can strive for.  It is something which I doubt I will completely succeed in doing.  But I can strive to do it and when I do not succeed I can repent and try again.  We have the forgiveness of our sins through Jesus Christ, thank God. 

I believe Jesus gives us the key to this approach in our passage.  He asks us, “And why beholdest thou the mote in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that in in thine own eye”? 

Let us look at those things in ourselves that are separating us from the love of God through Jesus Christ.  We are not going to be perfect but we can work at being all-embracing.  Thanks be to God . 

Forgive us our Trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us

Since writing last week about my ambivalence around Remembrance Day and Pacifism, we have been faced with what seems to be a world changing events in Paris.  From the perspective of the West It is actually just a continuation and intensification of events that have been ongoing since 9-11.  For people in the Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and other countries in the region there has been, it seems,  ever increasing terror and chaos which has spilled over to the West.

There are many questions which arise from these events for us.  For Christians we have the quandary about how we react to the events and approach to whole seemingly new approach to warfare with an enemy that can appear out of the crowd without warning and fad into the background just quickly.  As I address in my sermon yesterday, how are we to love our neighbours who seem to be the manifestation of evil?  How can we possibly forgive those who trespass against us in these terrible ways and yet how can we not if we are to ask God to forgive our trespasses?  My wife Lorna led the prayers of the people at St. John by the Lake in Grand Bend yesterday.  The prayers do a very good job of express how we can pray in times like this.  I have attached a copy for you to consider and invite you to pray them.  We pray that God redeem those whose hearts have turned to stone and in whom compassion has died. We ask that by the power of your Holy Spirit, we draw back from revenge and with your help establish conditions for peace among nations and between individuals, as you draw all people to yourself in love. We ask God that it will be a step towards reconciliation.   Amen

The Prodigal Father (4): the Ways of Compassion

Recently, I have written about the Henri Nouwen’s striving to aspire to be like the father in the parable of the Prodigal Son.  Nouwen’s book The Return of the Prodigal Son describes his exploration of the parable which was initiated by his encounter with the painting by Rembrandt based on the parable.

Nouwen saw that what it meant for him to aspire to be like God the father was to be compassionate.  Nouwen states that the most radical statement Jesus made was, “Be compassionate as your father is compassionate”.  He acknowledges that this is in no way easy for him.  To do this you must live a life that is based on cooperation rather than competition—which, of course, is truly radical in today’s culture.   However, he identifies three ways to a truly compassionate fatherhood.   These ways of compassion are; grief, forgiveness, and generosity.  Last week I explored the first way; grief.  Today I will explore the second way; forgiveness.

As Nouwen notes, “Forgiveness from the heart is very, very difficult.  It is next to impossible.  Jesus said to his disciples: ‘when your brother wrongs you seven times a day and comes back to you and says ‘I am sorry,’ you must forgive him.’”  The words are certainly easier than change in heart which is required to truly forgive.  We are trained as children to say we forgive even when we don’t feel it or believe it.  When the parents say to the child ‘say you are sorry’ the child may say it to placate the parent but he or she probably is only sorry that they were caught in the wrongdoing.

 A few years ago I read about one person’s struggle with forgiveness that illustrates how hard it is to truly forgive.  An Anglican priest in England, resigned her holy orders because she found that as hard as she tried she was unable to forgive, to truly forgive, the drunk driver who had killed her child.  She believed that as a Christian and a priest she was called to forgive that person and was unable to do it.  This shows us that true forgiveness is not cheap or easy.  It is more than just say the words.  To truly mean it is a long hard journey.

As Nouwen notes, “God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking.  It is this forgiveness that I have to practice in my daily life.”  Fortunately God’s forgiveness is there for us unconditionally when we fail to do likewise.  Thanks be to God.  

Sermon February 23, 2014 Forgiveness Part 2

Matthew 5:38 - 48

Corrie ten Boom was a Dutch Christian who, along with her father and other family members, helped many Jews escape the Nazi Holocaust during World War II and was imprisoned for it.   In her book, Reflections of God’s Glory (page 69), she wrote, “In Africa a man came to a meeting with bandaged hands. I asked him how he had been injured. He said, “My neighbor’s straw roof was on fire; I helped him to put it out and that’s how my hands were burned.”

 
“Later I heard the whole story. The neighbor hated him and had set his roof on fire while his wife and children were asleep in the hut. They were in great danger. Fortunately, he was able to put out the fire in his house on time. But sparks flew over to the roof of the man who had set the house on fire and his house started to burn. There was no hate in the heart of this Christian; there was love for his enemy and he did everything he could to put out the fire in his neighbor’s house. That is how his own hands were burned.”

My sermon today could be subtitled ‘Forgiveness part 2’.  Last week when we looked at the commandment of Jesus to ‘be perfect as my heavenly Father is perfect’ I noted that the key to understanding that seemingly impossible demand by Jesus is forgiveness.  Jesus knows that we are not able to live perfect lives.  He was well aware of the imperfections of his disciples and everyone he encountered every day.  The commandment in today’s Gospel is just about as impossible as that requirement to be perfect.  Loving your enemy is truly a challenge for people.  I guess we could consider it part of being perfect.  

Loving our neighbours is hard enough sometimes but loving our enemies that seems pretty much impossible.  That story by Corrie ten Boom illustrates how difficult it is.  If I were in that situation I don’t know how I would react and I hope I never have the opportunity to find out.  However, I’m almost certain I would not react as the hero of the story did.  I would probably be filled with hate and the desire for revenge at least at first.  I believe that my reaction would not be unusual.  However, as Christians we are called to love our enemies.  How then is it possible to love someone who does terrible things to you or your loved ones?  I believe that the key to that is forgiveness.  If we cannot forgive the hurts that life and people throw at us there is no possibility of loving not just our enemies but also our neighbours.  More than that, we do not have the possibility of loving ourselves.  

Corrie ten Boom has another statement which addresses the absolute necessity for forgiveness.  She says in Clippings from My Notebook, “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”  These are powerful images – the door of resentment; the handcuffs of hatred; the chains of bitterness; the shackles of selfishness.  This is exactly what hatred does.  It locks us in a prison with walls that separate us from the love of God.  However, we cannot love or receive love when we are imprisoned by hatred.

We can’t look at forgiveness through rose colored glasses.  True forgiveness is not in any way easy.  The church I believe has done a disservice by talking about forgiveness as if it comes easily to people.   Our culture has been an accomplice in this.  Just forgive and forget we are told as if everyone can do it if we only try – no problem just forgive and forget.  The church has also held up forgiveness as something we can do just as Jesus ask his Heavenly Father to forgive his executioners when he was on cross.  Jesus certainly did it and shows us the need for it but for us imperfect creatures it is another situation indeed.  There was a story in the news a few years ago which illustrates this.  A Church of England priest – a woman – had given up her ordained status – given up as a priest because she could not bring herself to forgive the person who murdered her son.  She believed that as a priest she was called to forgive as her Saviour had forgiven those who were in the act of executing him.  Despite all her efforts she found it impossible. The account did not go into detail but I have no doubt that this decision came after doing all she could to forgive that murderer.  I deeply regret that she was not able to find forgiveness but I admire her decision.  I also regret her decision because I’m sure she was a wonderful priest and a good shepherd of her flock.  I hope and pray she has been able to find forgiveness in her heart in the intervening years.  

Let us not have any illusions about how difficult true forgiveness is.    My experience of it confirms this.  I have struggled to let go of resentment and anger at people who have hurt me in the past.  Just when I thought I had achieved it, that dark force of resentment crept up on me and took possession of me.  That often happens in the middle of the night when our ego based defenses are at their weakest.  However, forgiveness is absolutely necessary if we are to become the loving people that God intends us to be.  The love of God does have the power to enable us to forgive and to set us free from the hatred and bitterness and resentment that imprisons us and kills our souls.  I want to close with a dream – a prayer really that I discovered when I was in the Holy Land some years ago on pilgrimage with fellow clergy.  We toured the Holocaust museum.  I was moved deeply by what I experienced there – it is a very powerful memorial to the terrible results of hate.  Of all I saw and experienced the thing that affected me the most was the account entitled, Dream of Abramek Kaplowics age 14 murdered at Auschwitz: 

When I grow up and get to be twenty I’ll travel and see the world of plenty.  In a bird with an engine I will set myself down, take off and fly into space, far above the ground.  I’ll fly, I’ll cruise and soar high above the world so lovely in the sky. And so delighted by all the world’s charms, into the heavens I will take off and not have a bother.  The cloud is my sister, the wind my brother.

Abramek could have been consumed with hatred for those who imprisoned him and ultimately murdered him.  However, rather than being chained to hatred he was able to dream of being set free and soaring into the heavens on a journey to his spiritual home.