Love cannot be a means to any end. Love
does not promise success, power, achievement, health, recovery, satisfaction,
peace of mind, fulfillment, or any other prizes. Love is an end in itself, a beginning in
itself.
This quote
is from The Awakened Heart by Gerald
May which I finished reading a few days ago and I have begun reading
again. I do not usually reread a book
right away but there are so many things in this work that touched my experience
of God and of life that I want to delve into it once more with to see how it
speaks to me a second time.
The above
quote resonated with me because it holds a deep truth about our relationship
with God. If we understand God as love,
the essence of love, we can see how it applies to the Ground of Being—to use Paul Tillich’s term.
There is a
great danger in wanting to relate to God in terms of what God can do for us;
for our loved ones; or even the world. It
is natural to pray to God that God will give us what we desire and believe is right. Those things may be reasonable from our
personal ego driven perspective; we may want healing for ourselves and
others. Indeed my daily prayers and our collective
prayers ask for just that. However, what
happens when God does not deliver on God’s part of the implicit contract. We
are told we are God’s people and if we are God should give us the things we ask
for.
We often end
our prayer with the phase, “if it is your will” which is a reminder and
declaration that God is supreme in this relationship. However, behind that can be the belief that
if God is just we will get what we ask for and what we deserve; well not
necessarily what we deserve but what we should receive as God’s children. This can be misleading and the darker side of
this is the prosperity Gospel which preaches that if you have success in life,
as the world defines success i.e. material possessions, a nice home, a good
job, and a happy family etc. it is a sign that God is rewarding you because you
are a good person.
This view is
summed up in that wonderful song recorded by Janice Joplin, O Lord Won’t You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz. There is a wonderful phrase which captures
this approach to God, ‘God the Butler’. We
believe that we can keep God down in the servants’ quarters a la Downton Abbey,
and call on God to come upstairs when we need something.
That is what
happens when we make God a means rather than an end. This can happen when we use our spiritual practice
for a personal means rather than making space for us to recognize God’s work in
our lives. We can use contemplative
prayer, centering prayer, meditation and other spiritual practices to make us
feel better and to give us physiological and psychological benefits such as
lower blood pressure and feeling at ease with others. However, when we do that we are placing
ourselves above God. We believe that we
know what God should do for us. We are
indeed using God as a means and not an end.
Gerald May
addresses this, “beware if turning it (spiritual practice) into a psychological
method… I caution you not to “use it” to cope with stressful situations or to
increase you efficiency.” In my
experience this is certainly tempting and I have turned to contemplative prayer
to deal with stressful situations. The
trap is that it seems to work at times. In
my experience what seems to be the key is intention. Do we open ourselves to the love of God or do
we substitute our will for God’s and demand my will not Thine be done?
In the end
we are called to make God the end, the goal of our existence and not to means to
the existence that we want or believe we deserve. Thanks be to God.